My boyfriends doesn't have any hobbies except smoking weed

Before (like when we met 4 years ago), he did lots of sports and had many friends, the past 1-2 years all he's doing is spending his weekends with his 2 roommates and smoking weed on the balcony; or going to some club (not often), then stands in the corner, just smoking... He doesn't have any friends in the office anymore and is not interested to meet anyone new.
It has become much worse since corona, he should be doing home-office but he said he can't work from home and is going out smoking every day multiple times. His company will stay closed till december.
He turned 30 this year, I'm 26. His roommates are 24 and 25.

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SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M

What's the part or parts that bother you?

His lack of motivation?
His lack of friends that don't smoke weed?
How he treats you when he is high?

Focus on what it is that bothers you and then speak to him about it, at a good time, when he is sober. See what, if anything, he is willing to change to make you happier.

BlueVeins · 22-25

@SumKindaMunster I'd also like to add, don't be afraid to kinda bully him into sobering up bc waiting might not be the best strategy.

SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M

@BlueVeins Well I don't agree with that. That may setup resentment and he won't be interested in making any changes if he is resenting you for making him stop.

PhoebeJ · 31-35, F

@SumKindaMunster Lack of motivation, lack of friends in general, no interest in doing something with his life. He's not high when I'm around.

SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M

@PhoebeJ Yeah I understand that. Are you thinking about a future with him? Are you thinking about what kind of provider or father he may be?

Maybe that's what you discuss with him. How his current behavior and lack of motivation is making you see that you may have no future together because you just don't know if you can trust or rely on him.

See how he responds. These are valid concerns to have if you are young and in a relationship that you believe may go long term.

PhoebeJ · 31-35, F

@SumKindaMunster Well, I was... 3 months ago he said "maybe in 10 years he's gonna be ready to start thinking about us moving in together..."

SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M

@PhoebeJ Ouch. 😲

Well maybe a follow up discussion is in order. Talk about how 10 years is too far away and if he is serious about that, he needs to start showing behaviors that indicate he is interested in a long term future with you.

PhoebeJ · 31-35, F

@SumKindaMunster Well... for that he said, he feels overwhelmed whe he should be thinking about such serious stuff and that he can have kids even when he's 50...

SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M

@PhoebeJ Honestly, this is such a typical pot smoker attitude. Everything gets pushed off until later. Non committal, vague, no serious plans or follow through.

If this doesn't work for you, you may want to consider moving on from him, I am sorry to say.