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What's your take on valentines day?

There's people who love it and post all sorts of lovely things for their friends and lovers on valentines day, and then there's people who hate the crap out of it and can't seem to stand it, and then there's me, who only recently found out what date valentines day really was on, cuz I've always been rather indifferent about it.

But I do have a few thoughts:
I can already see this becoming a problem in future romantic relationships but, just like I don't see why birthdays are such a big deal (if you wna appreciate and send gifts to a person you don't need to wait to their birthday, in fact it's more meaningful if you did it just cuz you thought of them, not cuz it was some obligation), I don't really see the point of having an allocated holiday to treat your lover extra special. Like, if you have to wait for some random allocated day to tell you to treat your lover well, why are you even with that person? And ppl love to show off their gifts and dates on social media, which personally, I'm really indifferent to, but it's something I wouldn't do myself. idk, I feel like if you're showing off your relationship to the world its because you have something to prove and there's some sort of agenda behind it. - at least, for my demographic it's the most common reason. and what is it they're proving? that they're not alone on valentines day. If you're making/receiving big gestures just so you can show it off to the world, idk, doesn't that underlying agenda undermine the special, private part of the time yall spent together?
And on top of all that, the idea of doing something everyone else is doing doesn't sit so right with me. [I also don't understand monthsaries and anniversaries]

idk i think having allocated days to show love is just a little sad, humanity isn't so bad we need to be reminded to show love to each other. I think obligation takes the romance out of romantic gestures.

But aside from that, it is a publicly and widely known day for couples, so I can see how with some people's busy work lives and schedules, having an allocated day where your colleagues and other ppl who expect other commitments from you would excuse you to take some time away with your significant other(s). --> but linking to my previous point, (and discrediting this one a little) if you can make time for them once a year that's kinda sad.

So just like how I don't give people obligatory gifts on birthdays, I don't think I'd ever really make a big deal out of valentines day.
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DamnFeelz · 36-40, F
I’ve had similar thoughts over the years at various times. These days my attitude is much simpler. Life is unavoidable stressful/hard for the vast majority of people. There’s surely no shortage of negativity on the daily to deal with. Any reason for people to be happy, even if only for a day, is good. I acknowledge the annoyance of exhibitionist culture / facades that seems even more so now because of social media, but I don’t think shaming people for sharing when they’re simply happy (thus diminishing one’s happiness) is somehow healthier for persons or the society nor nobler or wiser.

That said, the pressure to participate in materialism is greatly dependent on the people we choose to surround ourselves with. If you curate the company you keep then materialism is no longer a burden because the people you hang out with are not materialistic or at least are on your level.
firelaw · 22-25, F
@DamnFeelz that's true, materialism is an issue across all aspects of life and social media enhances it. I wish the pressure to keep up or fit in could be taken off some of the people I care about but alas its easier said than done.
DamnFeelz · 36-40, F
They’re autonomous beings who are just as capable of making choices as you. 🤷🏻‍♀️ At a certain point one must consider the possibility they are in fact doing what they want to for their reasons because otherwise they would do something else, and if we sincerely care about these people as more than extensions of ourselves then we must respect/accept their free will as not having lesser merit their our own. @firelaw