Should I walk away from this “Situationship”? (Please read)

I’ve been dealing with a man who I’ve grown to love. We’ve been dealing with eachother for about 7 months so far... since summer (June 2019) and I mean, we do everything together. We go to the movies, dinner, lunch, we talk all night long, all day long, we’ve been intimate, he gives me lots of affection, forehead kisses, you name it. I’m very nurturing and affectionate with him as well. Super supportive of his music career and we talk about everything under the sun. We really bond well together. We walk hand in hand in public, therefore he’s not afraid of PDA, the only thing is, he doesn’t want a relationship but I do. No matter how many times I try to walk away, I’m pulled back in with the guilt trips and gaslighting. He would say things like “you probably want to end things because there’s someone else” or “I’m sorry I can’t give you want you want right now, I’m just not ready” and things of that nature but yet he acts as if he doesn’t understand how he played a major part in me catching these feelings. I even told him I was in love with him and he told me I wasn’t. I said how can you tell me how I feel? I am in love with you. He tells me he’s not ready for me to feel that way about him because he doesn’t want a relationship. He goes on and on about how he “just got out of a toxic relationship (in which he still keeps in touch with the ex) and he also uses his music career as a reason why he’s not ready, yet he wants me everywhere he goes. Also questions me about my inbox on social media and acts jealous if he thinks I’m talking to another guy. It’s confusing! I don’t know what to do. We have so much fun together but when it’s bad, it’s bad. He knows what I want and he knows that he wants to play the field, when I let him know that I know he doesn’t want commitment so that he can play the field he denies it, yet clearly want to appear single since he introduces me as his “friend” when people ask him who I am to him (women in particular). I know it’s pathetic for me to stick around given all this info, but it’s so complicated, because I know he’s emotionally unavailable, I just don’t know how to let go and go cold turkey on someone I’ve had deep feelings for.

Mamapolo2016 · F

If he doesn't want a relationship, meaning the two of you don't have one, how can he be jealous? How can he call you back to something that doesn't exist?

What he wants is for YOU to have a relationship while he feels free to do whatever he wants.

As long as you allow him to have it both ways, have it both ways he will.

He isn't doing this to you. You are.

Until you make it crystal clear and definite that you won't play his game anymore, he wins. Every time.

Mrowe718 · 41-45, F

@Mamapolo2016 this means so much to me, thank you for your reply. I truly don’t want to do this anymore with him, hence me reaching out for help and answers. It sucks because I’ve had the upper hand so many times and I gave in to the mind games and empty apologies quite a few times.

I want to let him know I’m done but in his mind, we have to be in a “bad space” for that to happen meaning just had an argument or something. I truly just want to have a mature convo with him and let him know that this is hurting me and I no longer want to do “this” anymore.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Mrowe718 People like him are like sharks. They taste blood in the water and if you are angry or cry, he'll find his opening.

It is very difficult to do if you are not convinced. Sounds like you are very near the end of 'wishful thinking.' When you are at the end, if you can't do it in person, do it on the phone or by text or email, but do it. While he doesn't want to commit his life, he's devouring yours with your full permission.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTiyLuZOs1A]

P.S. If he is a narcissist and even if he's only selfish and self-centered, he will never say "You're right. I'm selfish. I hope you find the right guy." Don't wait for that.