How does one become more grateful towards their partner?

I was emotionally abused by a close friend for many years and it has caused some pretty intense emotional scars. I am now finding it hard to be grateful and loving towards my loving and amazing boyfriend of almost 2 years. I love him so much and he treats me like an absolute princess and is so supportive of everything I do. He knows about my past and everything. But lately I’m having a hard time letting him in and being grateful for everything he does for me and I am feeling so guilty about it. But in the moment my irritation and insecurities take over and I can’t just say thank you. I have to get upset over something. I can’t keep hurting him like this even though he says he’s fine it is straining our relationship. Please if anyone has advice I am all ears.

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Spoiledbrat · F

I think it’s normal to put up a front since you’ve become painfully aware that people can hurt you. It’s a normal response by your brain to protect yourself.

islandgirl55 · 26-30, F

@Spoiledbrat Agreed, and thankfully he was around me as a friend when everything was happening to me, so he knows all the players and my past very well. He was actually one of the people who convinced me that I was in an abusive relationship because I couldn't see it even when it turned physical. I just don't understand why now, entering our second year together, that I am getting more and more freaked out about it all.