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Why can't I leave my bf?

My boyfriend is very controlling, he hates it when I go see anyone including friends and family. He makes comments on the way I look and what I do and eat constantly.

He doesn't want me to have my own life, he wants me to solely rely on him financially so I have no independence whatsoever.

It's so so hard to leave, I feel like such a doormat. He provides for me and I wouldn't be able to sustain myself unless I go and get this degree he desperately doesn't want me to get. I'm sure he is cheating on me, he always has secret phone and secret dating profiles online even though I have never cheated.

Jesus Christ just why can't I leave him? I'm so scared of starting a new life on my own. I'm to embarrassed to talk about this with my family, I've always started strong for them.

I just need some strength and a clear head. I need to go study to find a better life and a good job that I love.

Had anyone else been in this position? I thought this would be a good life - a life without financial worries. Comes with a catch.
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curiosi · 61-69, F
You said it yourself you are scared. We all are but the only way to freedom is to face our fears head on. The road maybe difficult but nothing is more painful then looking back someday on a wasted life.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@curiosi Well said.