Men who stop talking to you as friends because they realise you aren’t interested....
Is this fair? It’s incredibly annoying.
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indyjoe · 56-60, M
I think one thing most women do not comprehend or understand about men is that once a man becomes interested in a woman emotionally, romantically, and sexually...if she is not feeling the same he pulls away (even to a point of avoiding and ignoring her) because to be around her and especially interacting with her only fuels those feelings. It is like teasing and leading on though unintentional on her part, and it is very frustrating to him in many ways. He cannot help it, it's not something he can just "get over" and turn off like a light switch, it's just nature. Over time it may fade away, or it may not depending on how powerful those feelings are. Men are quite capable of being platonic friends with women (just as women are with men), but once a stronger interest develops it is extremely hard for him to go back to being just friends. Does this help it make a bit more sense?
SW-User
@indyjoe It makes sense to me,but guys should understand we need explaining at times, really depends on how long the realationship had existed.
If you're really good friends and they just disappear that is painful.
If just a little while and we didn't really know them, well, just like guys we have our own bruises to our egos.
If you're really good friends and they just disappear that is painful.
If just a little while and we didn't really know them, well, just like guys we have our own bruises to our egos.
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@SW-User Men often do understand that and it is not at all our intention to hurt a person, but look at it from a woman's perspective too...how many times have you or have you seen women say they don't want to hurt his feelings so they hesitate to explain to him that they aren't interested in that way? this only leads him on and keeps him hopeful that there is something there. It is the same thing only in reverse. He cannot always find a way to tell her and explain that he has to not be around her anymore (for a while or permanently) because he doesn't want to hurt her so he shuts down and walks away not realizing that it is hurting her anyway.
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@SW-User That is exactly how it should be...mutual, a two-way street, the idea and attitude that "it's not just about ME anymore". A person's chosen partner's thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, hopes, dreams, beliefs, opinions, etc. should be just as important to you as are your own ( and in some situations/circumstances even more so). That is how mine and my wife's relationship and marriage has worked so well.