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41-45, F
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Northwest · M
Here's what I did, and this is not theoretical:
1. Made sure she got her HPV vaccination.
2. Made sure she went through sex ed
3. Discussed sex with her, why people have sex, the benefits of healthy sexual relationships, and how not to allow sexual partners to take away any of it.
4. The importance of protection against STDs, and emotional entanglements, as in: don't confuse lust and love.
5. Made sure that when she was ready, she did not do it in the back seat of a car, but at home.
Sex, like food, water, poetry, is good for body and soul, taking advantage of someone sexually is not. My daughter was prepared.
1. Made sure she got her HPV vaccination.
2. Made sure she went through sex ed
3. Discussed sex with her, why people have sex, the benefits of healthy sexual relationships, and how not to allow sexual partners to take away any of it.
4. The importance of protection against STDs, and emotional entanglements, as in: don't confuse lust and love.
5. Made sure that when she was ready, she did not do it in the back seat of a car, but at home.
Sex, like food, water, poetry, is good for body and soul, taking advantage of someone sexually is not. My daughter was prepared.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Northwest Wish every girl /woman had a dad like you...that is wonderful. My dad never brought up even one of those topics, or any, relating to me dating, loving, guys.. nothing. It's no wonder I feel worthless many days, (mainly from my mom's abuse though) and never date...maybe I would have felt like a person if he did what you had.
Northwest · M
@Coralmist I had an agreement with my daughter, when she was ready to have sex, she was going to tell me. More importantly, it was also to let her know, that she, not another person, is in control of her sex life. Peer pressure is another thing we always discussed, whether it's sex or drugs or anything else. People should be involved, and figure out exactly who their kids are hanging out with. Not to control, but to guide and help, just like parents are supposed to do.
Sorry to hear you were abused by your mother, and while I don't know the circumstances, I believe it's something you should be able to work your way out, with proper counseling/advice. You are a person, and don't let anyone make you feel less.
Sorry to hear you were abused by your mother, and while I don't know the circumstances, I believe it's something you should be able to work your way out, with proper counseling/advice. You are a person, and don't let anyone make you feel less.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Northwest Thank you, it's been VERY hard to work out of, it was for so long, and the harshest, sadistic abuse :/ I often Do NOT feel like a human, b/c that bully voice will remain in the subconscious: 'you are not good, you are lazy, you are LESS' I don't even date b/c of it, and so when I saw how kind and open you were w/your daughter about it, it made me feel wow, you CAN feel good about love/sex and yourself. :) Thanks friend 🌺
Northwest · M
@Coralmist Have you seen any therapists. Family of origin issues, can be the most damaging. Who knows what your mother was suffering from. Perhaps a reaction to being abused herself. Bottom line, is that it's time for you to break the cycle. You can and you should feel goof about love/sex and yourself.
Northwest · M
@Brianthesnail Thank you. It's common sense. My son, starting in high school, did not need to sneak around either. His girlfriend spent the night at home, with him.