Love & Attraction > Relationships

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Do you have a pre date checklist for yourself or your date? Part of mine is listed below.

1. Are you truly available to date a few times a week?
2. Are you mentally emotionally and physically stable and in a good place?
3. Do you know what you desire in a partner?
4. What are the absolute deal breakers?
5. Do I have an exit plan if things are not going well?

Tell me what you think.

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Abrienda · 26-30, F

I think your list is very good one. Unfortunately I may not be the best person to comment...I have had only one romantic relationship and we are still together and exclusive after three years.

I just wanted to comment that Points 4 and 2 were very important for me. About Point 4 what may seem trivial to others upon examining are not...for example I already knew without asking Nika did not have a cat. Not really, how silly is that? Well, not really. I am afraid and repelled by them physically, believe they are classic narcissists, extremely dirty and by extension think anyone who has them is the same. I suppose that would go under point 4 and compatibility?

About Point 2. Nika made herself available to me at the expense of all her friends at the time and even her business and this deeply impressed me. I saw this as a tangible early sign of love and devotion and happily I was right

Anyway yours is an excellent list with my only cautionary comment being love does not always express itself in conventional ways (that's not me but Gustave Flaubert in Madame Bovary). But if it is real you can see it if not always shown to you in the "normal" (banal?) forms.

tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F

1)Nice outfit picked out.
2)Venue/time agreed.
3)Make sure my long fingernails are sharp!
4)Condoms in my bag if we need them for first date sex.
5)Fully charged phone.
6)Make sure friends know where I am going and who with.
7)Be ready to leave the date if it is going badly.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@tallpowerhouseblonde I like your list thank you for taking the time to share I hope you have a great day.

tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F

@Capt11 Thank you I will.

666Maggotz ·

Who in their right mind goes on several dates a week? :o once a week is already a lot

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whitecuckmn · C

That statement (Who in their right mind....) is off base. If that is his and his date's preference, it is great. Regarding other comments, a date can be any number of activities, and not necessarily a dinner date....@666Maggotz

666Maggotz ·

@whitecuckmn the year is 2021. Don’t reply to my comments from 2019. Thank you.

whitecuckmn · C

Sorry. I didn't realize that you are the same person.@666Maggotz

Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

I love phone calls and dates. While others have said it is excessive I don't really think so. I would want one of the dates to be something active where we are working out together... yoga, the gym, mountain bikes, kayaks. Maybe meet for lunch during the week and have a date night every week. I also would add ability to compromise and not expect me to be spending the night at his house in weeks because I like to get to know someone well.

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Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

@Capt11 I was trying to answer your questions. I found my person and still have those things many years later with him. I thank you for your well wishes but I was trying to give you advice based on your question. I wish you luck on your journey. I once knew another gentleman here with thoughts very similar to yours. I have known him since pretty much day one of his journey here. We are three years later and he still comes here to chat about his dating life. One of the main reasons that he is still alone is his way of communication. If you take nothing else from my reply, consider the importance of communication. Good luck to you.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@Fungirlmmm thank you

Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

@Capt11 You're welcome.

MrBlueGuy

Yeah I have all those things down pat but unless I'm living with someone I'm not going on dates several times a week. Friday nights are good for dates. Saturday for seeing family or friends, Sunday for shopping, laundry and getting ready for the work week haha. But I guess it depends on your schedule.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@MrBlueGuy I hope to one day be married. If a woman cannot make time to have a lunch with me during the week. A breakfast or dinner sometime through the week. A date one day on the weekend I am not a priority to her. Even if we just go to the gym together and work out. You spend time with someone who you care about and you want to spend time with.

Anonymartyr · M

These days they are all deal breakers who aren't even worth a 1-night stand.

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Anonymartyr · M

@Capt11 I did not choose to be a deformed cripple, nor did I choose for the world to be so shallow as to avoid people based solely because of a hunched back. I was rejected by my relatives at birth- my parents were exiled from their families. Being stuck in bed, alone for 4/5ths of your time, how would you choose to make better of it? I advocate for the poor and homeless in my community and have had some successes in improving the system, voluntarily. That at least gives me some purpose while I wait for total paralysis, if homelessness doesn't take me first as rent requires two people to pay and my subsidies run out in a few years. All I can do is take in a local hooker or crack addict to share a bedroom with.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@Anonymartyr I know you may not take me seriously but if you need something and I can give it please let me know.

Anonymartyr · M

@Capt11 What I need most is someone who can live here, share rent and help with housework that I cannot do probably someone with some experience as a nurse. I will need the other room to grow my own medication as there is no coverage for any of my medications and are way beyond most people's ability to pay- $2200/ 28 day supply (American currency) my entire income is only $1000/mo with rent taking up $750 and utilities taking up another $200 and the rest is on food- not enough.

lostinthesupermarket · M

seems excessive.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@lostinthesupermarket I do not know you. I hope you really hear what I am going to say. When you go to a restaurant you look at the menu you take a few minutes you may even ask the waiter questions. If you do not take some time to prepare for your date what does that say about your dating? To you it may seem excessive however to others is seems necessary. I thank you for replying I hope you have a great day.

Chasingthesun · 46-50, F

That sounds good to me

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