Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Is it wrong of me to be hurt and upset by my boyfriend's move?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months, but we're still quite serious and committed to one another. We currently live 30 minutes apart and have been making it work just fine. However, he's just recently decided to move 1 hour away, to cut living costs. He also wants to get a dog, making it obvious that he sees this living arrangement as fairly long term.
In the fall, I'll be moving into town, but still be 1 hour away from him. I'll be working and going to college full time.
For the last couple months, I'd thought we'd planned to move in together or at the very least live only 10 or 15 minutes away from each other, not an hour. While I have no doubt we can make it work regardless, I'm still hurt because I had this mindset, that he apparently didn't share.
While I'm not trying to stop him, and I support him all the way, I'm still hurt. I was so excited to live closer to each other, and instead, I'm going to see him even less than I do now. It sucks. Is that wrong of me, or is this a normal feeling?
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
LookingForIt987 · 51-55, M
At the risk of maybe sounding a bit cliche, your feelings are never wrong. And the older I get, the more I realize the word "normal" applies to a lot less than I used to think. You'll waste your time and energy wondering if it's "normal" or not. Focus on "why" instead, and then after you think you have that figured out, "what" is next.

So, with all that said... I think your feeling hurt is expected given the information you've provided. You thought there was clear plans between the two of you to either live together or remain close to one another while living in separate places. And it's clear, again given the info here, that your boyfriend felt otherwise. So what you'll need to figure out here is whether there really was clearly communicated plans for the two of you to either live together or close by one another. For example, when you and he had conversations about it, were the conversations clear and focused, or were they more along the lines of, "Hey, wouldn't it be great if..." If it's the latter, it might be easy for one person in the conversation to view it as "we have these plans laid out" while the other person views it as "dreams are good, but reality is like this."

Hopefully that makes some sense...