Having too many doubts now.... (Not about cheating)

how do you know they aren't. I let my wife stay friends with her ex fiance her first lover. But not sue that was a good idea ever. I want jealous I was confident she loved me more and would be true. Throughout 40 years and then I kinda started looking back at all of it there were many times I was led to believe she was with girlfriends. Once told sometimes he was the only one she could turn to (this in the last 2 years) together were love notes from him or when we had trouble he encouraged her to get away from me. I hated him but then i realized it wasn't all (though i dont write notes to married women) all his fault she was encouraging him, doing something to make him think he still had a chance. But you got to let them go and they may not come back but if they do you're probably ok unless my story sounds familiar.