My boyfriend doesn't feel the same about me, how do I know when it's time to break up?

@BalmyNites He's the one who said I love you first, I've let him call all the shots, and give him space when necessary

@wolfess I'm telling you babe, you need to pull right back now, stand on your own two feet, find some hobbies etc & let him see that you are a fun, independent woman - he will love you for it. Whether he said/you said what first, doesn't matter, guys need their own man space & actions speak louder than words, no man wants a woman who dedicates every second of her life to him, so change it now before it's too late.

@BalmyNites The things I put here are how i feel, but not what I've told him. I do stand on my own two feet- i'm very independent with tons of hobbies of my own as well as my own photography business. We are two independent people.

Things will be wonderful for weeks at a time and then he'll go through almost a week long phase where he says he's not sure what he wants, he gets distant, and it always seems like we'll break up, but we haven't yet.

@wolfess You don't need to tell him, you need to show him, please don't give him 'the talk'. I can't put it any clearer, if you don't get it, you don't get it. Men don't want things laid on a plate, wake up & smell the coffee 💙

@BalmyNites I'm not laying anything on a plate, lol.

[quote]I'm willing to do anything for him, I love him. I thought he was the one. What should I do?[/quote]@wolfess

Enough said

@BalmyNites He doesn't know this though, lmao...

@wolfess You bet your life he knows, hence why he's getting cold feet. Men are not stupid, he senses your desperation.

@BalmyNites There's no desperation here.

@wolfess 😬😬

You wanna talk about suffocated? Lol, he tried to say I love you 2 weeks in.

@wolfess Maybe he does...You can reveal your feelings and intentions in non-verbal ways (many times without realizing it) and he has sensed/picked up on it. You've only been together for three months and by your own words only see each other once or twice a week (and you also said that he is distant for one week out of that month)… that is only about 18 days of togetherness and you're saying he's "the one"? Think about it for a minute...can you see why these other ladies are telling you that he may be feeling stifled? He is unsure (and it may be scaring him)...too much too soon.

@wolfess That doesn't matter, things have obviously changed in the relationship somehow, the dynamics have shifted. Now he's pulling away from you & you sense that, so you're clinging to him; which will only make things worse. If you really want this man, take my advice & make a few small changes before he leaves altogether. Good luck 💙

@indyjoe But see that's the thing. He's even more clingy than I am. He's made all the first moves. So I don't really get it.

@BalmyNites He said I love you on Thursday. Friday onward he was distant. I've left everything up to him- I'm not any more clingy than I was.

I've always been very patient and let him work through his feelings on his own, but I can't worry about a break up EVERY month.

[quote]Ive left everything up to him[/quote]@wolfess

[quote]Ive always been very patient[/quote]

What's the real story here? Don't allow yourself to be a doormat, have some self respect. As I said, take a big step back & maybe he might realise HE is losing YOU & wake up to what he wants.

@BalmyNites You are correct. What I have discovered and learned as a guy throughout my life is that we DO like a girl/woman to be open and honest about her attraction/feelings/desire for us...we do not like the "chase" as much as is believed and we hate as well as tire quickly of the guessing game, but equally so we do not like to feel suffocated and/or pressured either (overly aggressive even subtly overly aggressive) can scare us feel crowded/suffocated/pressured just as it does for women.

@BalmyNites Things were great at the start, and he was very attentive and committed. About 2 months in he told me he wasn't over his ex fiancee from 1 year ago. I gave him space and told him I was willing to try to move past it, but only if he was. He said he was and hasn't talked to her since that talk. Things were better than ever soon after. Like, better than I've ever had. But now a month later after he said he loved me, he's suddenly distant and cold again. I didn't want to put the ex fiancee thing in the main post because it gives him a bad rap. He really is a great guy, he's been nothing but kind to me.

@indyjoe Again, I've given him space. I've made the mistake of being too clingy in the past. I've mirrored his affection levels so that he was comfortable.

@wolfess I hate to be the bearer of bad news but after reading all your responses to others as well as your original post....Your relationship is in serious trouble, and it is barely out of the start gate. I'm not saying that it is doomed, but you two are in need of some serious communication and work if it is to survive (let alone thrive). All I can do is wish you luck...

@wolfess Ahh, so out of the 3 months you've been 'together', it's only in the past month that he's stopped talking to his ex, but things are going wrong between you already. I have to say, it doesn't sound good hun, not good at all & I think you accommodate his feelings too much, instead of your own. Protect your heart & step back, give him chance to realise he wants you/misses you. Otherwise I feel it won't be long before he's gone.