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Should I feel guilty for not being in love with someone who's in love with me?

He's a great guy and he's been in love with me from high school until now. No matter what I say or do he continues to hold out hope, but I just don't feel that way about him. I don't want to sound harsh or conceited and I feel really bad but I just don't want to settle for someone who I only have mediocre feelings for.

This has been really bothering me because I see him agonizing over me the only I've agonized over someone I love and I feel like its my fault for not being clear enough. But I can't think of any other way to say I'm not interested without being plain mean.

But is it better to be really really mean just once than to have him continuing to waste years on me? Even when he was in other relationships he made no secret of his feelings for me. And I look like the bad guy.

Sorry had to vent.

Advice?
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indyjoe · 56-60, M Best Comment
Ever heard the phrase "hope springs eternal"?...and love especially make that even more true as well as near impossible to let go of. A person cannot help who they love and neither can a person help who they don't. You have no reason to feel guilty because you do not share his feelings. That is something that is his issue and he needs to admit to himself that his love is in vain and move on. You don't have to be mean to him but you may have to show anger and sternness to get the message across (which is not being mean), then follow that up by not engaging him more than maybe a brief "hello" when you see him. Trying to be nice about it and worrying about his feeling being hurt only makes it appear that you are just "playing hard to get" and that there is still a chance because to him, somewhere inside you have the same feelings and interest. He may be hurt by your rejection and you may feel badly about that, but he will need to go away and lick his wounds for awhile then move on....eventually his feeling for you should become just a fond faded memory to him.
coffeedimplez · 26-30, F
@indyjoe Thanks
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@coffeedimplez You're welcome...it's the best advice I could think of because it is what worked for me.