Off topic but you’re deadass the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.

Hating yourself accomplishes nothing. If you really care about this man, you’ll do everything possible to take care of the woman he loves. That includes getting treatment for your depression. And if you’re already in treatment, obviously it’s not working so explore other options with your doctor.

How'd you make him cry?

Hating yourself is extreme. Maybe tell him you need some alone time

You should most definitely hate yourself jk lol
No maybe you should find out why you alienate people or like at what you get out of doing it
Do you do it intentionally? Or is it kind of on accident like something impulsive? Ask these questions just investigate the fuck outta yourself