hes a jerk to me.. why am i holding on to him?

Because you are afraid to be without someone. Find happiness within yourself and leave him.

just ditch him he won't know where you left off

Good question. I have given up on liking anyone here.

You are scared of change?

deceptive hope that he'll be nice one day.

You tell us.

You're dangling off a cliff and if you don't hang onto him you'll die?