overbearing in law. what do I do?

So I meet my bf mum for the first time, and she starts by asking what I do for a living when she already knows (I work from home doing catering/farmers market /frozen meals) I love what I do and I make money. She goes on to say that's not a real job job and I HAVE to work.she then asks me why I don't drive and she likes girls to be independent . Me and my bf want to live together most of our stuff like fridge and stove is coming from my parents who have retired and giving it to me because they get new stuff so they helping me, she is not offering anything yet she doesn't want him to take his bed and TV from their home that he paid for . She keeps tell me well you know my son has forgotten his family very since he met you . After lunch I had to do all the dishes while she storing the back and watched. During the time she only insulted my bf and kept saying oh he won't make it and he's so lazy .
Am I wrong to be upset?after the meeting I had to come home and rest my head because I felt physically sick . She also said we cant move in together until I meet the whole family. What you think of this woman? What do I do, I have so much on my plate already and now I have to deal with this woman.

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calthouse01 · 41-45, M

Wow... She sounds like a real joy... *obvious sarcasm is obvious*... 😒

The two of you need to talk it out first... Calmly and rationally. For all you know, he may have already recognized the same problems and may be just as tired as you are, if not more so.

If you two REALLY want to be in this for the long haul, then I see nothing wrong with the two of you, the next time you have to deal with her, letting her know in as polite and respectful of a way as possible, that this is YOUR life that you are building together, NOT hers and basically calmly but firmly encourage her to 'butt out', as it were. She may have raised him but now that he is grown, she no longer has any business dictating his life and life choices to him.

As far as his belongings are concerned... If he paid for them, then they are HIS. Sorry... But mumsy-in-law will have to suck it up on this one. This is the one area where he is in EVERY right to demand he be allowed to take what BELONGS to him... Up to AND INCLUDING calling Law Enforcement if she wants to push the issue too far... Denying someone the possession of legally purchased items IS theft and little miss mumsy is going to have to accept that.

As far as any further dealings with her... This is a choice for both of you to make. I hope he does not display the same character flaws shown by his mum... Contrary to the old adage, apples CAN roll quite a ways away from the tree! 😂 Decide what is more important... Starting a life with this person who has managed to take your heart, or the problems you have with the woman who birthed him.

I think you'll do fine if you can keep that in it's proper perspective.

Wow... Now that I've sounded like 'Dear Abby', let me just close by saying best of luck to you both! Make as much of the fun times that you can... The more you enjoy your lives together, the less bothersome 'mumsy-in-laws' and other nuisances can be...

Ciao! 😀

Clairessa09 · 31-35

@calthouse01 thank you. She said twice I want my children to have the best and I gave them life blah blah blah. I have been through so much pain the last few months I have no time or patience to deal with her. My bf is also sick and tired of her and said she won't change . She is disappointed I don't have a top job and lots of money. It's day 1 and I already can't stand her.

calthouse01 · 41-45, M

@Clairessa09 Just know that her judgement means NOTHING. This is a person who doesn't want to relinquish control... I hate to be blunt but little mumsy dearest will have to suck it up.

Don't let her control how you two feel about each other and what the two of you wish to do... 😊

Clairessa09 · 31-35

@calthouse01 after that visit I'm having doubts about moving in now, and we planned and prepared so much😢

calthouse01 · 41-45, M

@Clairessa09 Please DO NOT let little mumsy dearest be a roadblock to this relationship that you want with your boyfriend... It's not his fault nor his responsibility for how she behaves.

This is YOUR life, not hers. If you want this life for you and him, you can't let her be in the way of it. Don't put him through undeserved pain just because his mom can't behave.

Clairessa09 · 31-35

@calthouse01 You are right. Thank u i needed that

calthouse01 · 41-45, M

@Clairessa09 Not a problem... 😘😊