Is monogamous dating too restrictive?

@Mamapolo2016 agreed, but it's interesting when its written like this how many people especially women get their knickers in a twist.

@Peppa All I have to offer is 1) I am among those who think it’s far preferable for a child to have two concerned and contributing parents but 2) Lionesses don’t have to pick up socks off the floor.
3) The reason for #1 is because even if one parent is down for the count for whatever reason, there’s backup.

@Mamapolo2016 but you'd have a village of mothers?
This isn't to discredit fathers but in early childhood mothers are the primary care givher.

@Peppa sometimes fathers are the primary care giver from when the child is a baby.

@Peppa From what I have seen in the past ten years that’s not always true anymore although it certainly used to be mostly true.

I have absolutely no objection whatsoever to same sex couples adopting or using whatever method to have their own child.

I think, however appealing it might be in a moment when the opposite gender has been less than splendid, the system you’re talking about would send a whole bunch of possibly unintended messages. Only women can raise children? What of the fathers who do it and do it well?

Besides which...the reason I once thought your idea might be a good one was because then we would (as we almost always do) spend most of our anger on the blankety-blanks we lived with and retain fondness for our mate.

@Mamapolo2016 well I think when children are young (0-3) they require as much love as possible. They require the softness to guide them through the basics in life as they start to form their sense of awareness they need the emotional balance of their fathers. Their is evidence that just having a male figure to look up to has more positive results not. That male figure also doesn't actually need to particularly participate in rearing such a young child. Once there is stability children that young pick up more on body language and it's more about the reactions from their primary care giver. That teaches them about trust,love and respect. As the child gets to age 7 when the father steps in to guide the child (stress free) they develop their best/ don't personalities. This is the exploration stage. Where they learn about the things the world and life has to offer. Mums role is consistent as she is the foundation to that child's development.
Mums nurse the emotional bonds internally and fathers develop the child's external self. When they work together you create a balance child.

That's why I said that.

I think the way modern society is and the key issues to monogamous relationships is the fact that men and women operate differently.

And you see it in young boys and girls. Leave them to their own devices, girls always develop their emotional side before anything else.
They are natural 'nurses' obviously there are exceptions to the rules. But the games girls play are usually about reenacting the family dynamics.

Where as boys strive to be leaders and champions, developing their strength and burning their physical energy. Exploring and aiming to be the best, their sense of achievement comes from 'winning' (again there are exceptions and its for parents to guide the 'winning' from achievement, over overruling someone)
I may sound like I'm going back here with all this talk but even yesterday as another example, a newly Wed I spoke to, are arguing, the basis being she is already focused on their nest and creating an environment for children, where as he's trying to find away to still keep a piece of himself whilst finding the balance in their relationship. They are out of sync because she's trying to force her will whilst he's actually holding true to himself and juggling his time effectively. Her biggest complaint was, "I have no time for myself as I'm spread so thinly doing things with my family, finding time for him, but I never do anything for myself. I stopped going to my yoga class on a Sunday morning for him".
When I asked her if he demanded or hinted at more time together she said no! She made that choice.

So I think yes maybe my lifestyle change maybe extreme, but at least the frame of mind might need reconsideration.

It was just something to think about really, more than anything.

@Peppa Smiling. I didn’t think you were taking applications for your village of mothers.

As an avid reader I have probably seen twenty or thirty ‘society templates’ in fiction or history. There are almost always advantages and drawbacks.

I think just like restricting women to certain defined roles is wasteful of the talents of both genders, I think we can definitely point to the one-parent household as having lost some of the stability of previous models.

@Mamapolo2016 I have to agree that single parenting isn't great primarily when the parent didn't want to be a parent, wasn't ready OT is battling something internally. I come from a community that unfortunately has a mix of single and both parent parenting and perhaps with closer inspection we can see flaws, But those children seem no less alike.
What about the single parents who lose their partners to death, do they struggle to raise a child or is it the parents that have messy relationships and don't deal with their issues to raise and focus on their lives.
I dunno I think that it's unfair to say so when the single parents that struggle primarily feel unsupported (family not just partner)
And as you already stated we already live in a world where mothers already focus on rearing the children how would this be any different especially as we are able to support ourselves through work and the like, but you'd be living amongst other women that support you. Utilising the skills you all bestow. This isn't actually about excluding a man BTW it's about using everyone's "skills and abilities", to their best.