Is monogamous dating too restrictive?

@SW-User lool

@Mamapolo2016 Yes exactly, if it was just the cuddling i could get a dog or cuddle the plumber when he comes to fix my shower recess :o

@SW-User The dog would probably be overjoyed. 🐕The plumber might be more resistant.

@Mamapolo2016 😂

@KidAzazel perhaps so but for how long in modern society does that actually last. Especially given marriage and divorce rates.

@Peppa what? polyamory? if you do it right, it can be wonderful. i know people who have had more successful and longer relationships being poly than any monogamous couple ive ever seen. but it takes a LOT of communication between everyone involved

@KidAzazel any type of marriage/relationship set up. That's all. But i hear you.
I have contemplated being in a polyamourous relationship myself. But I'm yet to meet someone OK with that.

@Gangstress yes you are... you just keep denying it. You know how they at depression and low mood can be catching. You caught my low mood from last week. :-(

@Mamapolo2016 well I think when children are young (0-3) they require as much love as possible. They require the softness to guide them through the basics in life as they start to form their sense of awareness they need the emotional balance of their fathers. Their is evidence that just having a male figure to look up to has more positive results not. That male figure also doesn't actually need to particularly participate in rearing such a young child. Once there is stability children that young pick up more on body language and it's more about the reactions from their primary care giver. That teaches them about trust,love and respect. As the child gets to age 7 when the father steps in to guide the child (stress free) they develop their best/ don't personalities. This is the exploration stage. Where they learn about the things the world and life has to offer. Mums role is consistent as she is the foundation to that child's development.
Mums nurse the emotional bonds internally and fathers develop the child's external self. When they work together you create a balance child.

That's why I said that.

I think the way modern society is and the key issues to monogamous relationships is the fact that men and women operate differently.

And you see it in young boys and girls. Leave them to their own devices, girls always develop their emotional side before anything else.
They are natural 'nurses' obviously there are exceptions to the rules. But the games girls play are usually about reenacting the family dynamics.

Where as boys strive to be leaders and champions, developing their strength and burning their physical energy. Exploring and aiming to be the best, their sense of achievement comes from 'winning' (again there are exceptions and its for parents to guide the 'winning' from achievement, over overruling someone)
I may sound like I'm going back here with all this talk but even yesterday as another example, a newly Wed I spoke to, are arguing, the basis being she is already focused on their nest and creating an environment for children, where as he's trying to find away to still keep a piece of himself whilst finding the balance in their relationship. They are out of sync because she's trying to force her will whilst he's actually holding true to himself and juggling his time effectively. Her biggest complaint was, "I have no time for myself as I'm spread so thinly doing things with my family, finding time for him, but I never do anything for myself. I stopped going to my yoga class on a Sunday morning for him".
When I asked her if he demanded or hinted at more time together she said no! She made that choice.

So I think yes maybe my lifestyle change maybe extreme, but at least the frame of mind might need reconsideration.

It was just something to think about really, more than anything.

@Peppa Smiling. I didn’t think you were taking applications for your village of mothers.

As an avid reader I have probably seen twenty or thirty ‘society templates’ in fiction or history. There are almost always advantages and drawbacks.

I think just like restricting women to certain defined roles is wasteful of the talents of both genders, I think we can definitely point to the one-parent household as having lost some of the stability of previous models.

@Mamapolo2016 I have to agree that single parenting isn't great primarily when the parent didn't want to be a parent, wasn't ready OT is battling something internally. I come from a community that unfortunately has a mix of single and both parent parenting and perhaps with closer inspection we can see flaws, But those children seem no less alike.
What about the single parents who lose their partners to death, do they struggle to raise a child or is it the parents that have messy relationships and don't deal with their issues to raise and focus on their lives.
I dunno I think that it's unfair to say so when the single parents that struggle primarily feel unsupported (family not just partner)
And as you already stated we already live in a world where mothers already focus on rearing the children how would this be any different especially as we are able to support ourselves through work and the like, but you'd be living amongst other women that support you. Utilising the skills you all bestow. This isn't actually about excluding a man BTW it's about using everyone's "skills and abilities", to their best.

@DownTheStreet whatever I'm at my most miserable when I'm with a man.
When I live a single life confidently, have my gal pals and have a few guys take interest I'm happy. But the moment they start trying to integrate into my life the way they want it messes everything up. And I get completely all funky and insecure. And I'm sure a lot of other women would agree

@Peppa questionable men, but i see how relationships stifle people...they get needy and clingy and jealous...i think relationships are best when someone isn't "needing" love or "looking" for love.

@DownTheStreet 100% that's why I think if you have external 'support' you fair more better than being left to fend for yourself.

@Peppa “while the men lead their own lives and only seek us to mate with”. That’s not how I or the vast majority of my male friends live our lives.

@TopOfTheWorld that was posed for the future should women live as woman and woman. You didn't read that correctly.

@Peppa ok sorry my mistake fair enough and to answer your question, no you shouldn’t because all the loving , nurturing men need so much more than to just be mating partners.

@teenmummy no its not if you'd like to be educated there are lots of different types of relationships. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outline_of_relationships

But monogamous is the one that people focus on the nose as its the most comfortable and least confusing to others.

But what you desire isn't the same as me, or any other person you ask.

And I am acting single.

@Peppa yes it’s rare. Sometimes when he was a baby it would make me feel excluded when strangers and society in general would assume that the mother is, or should be, always the primary care giver. But when I look at what kind of adult human being he’s become and his achievements I couldn’t ask for any more reward or justification for how I brought him up.

@TopOfTheWorld well good for you one of your most proudest/biggest achievements :-)

@Peppa thank you, nothing in my life has been more important than doing my best in bringing up my children.

@KaysHealingPath but you would effectively be raising the young as a village. Or a tribe. Lions, men still do the protecting. But women would do everything else collectively. Think of it like when you organise one of your kids birthday parties, or cousins, all your female siblings and cousins aunties chip in whilst the men so what?

@Peppa thats mostly true, however my husband is very active in the child rearing department so he helps with the kids a lot too, as do most males of my immediate age group. those above 40 don't as much as those under 40.

@MellyMel22 opinion noted. I think the world we live in allows for more choices when it comes to relationships.

@Peppa Yeah, but one shouldn’t be in a monogamous relationship if they question wanting more than one.. I think my wording was off before.. If both sides are okay with more, then it’s their decision.

@SW-User women in America alone statically are over populated in comparison to men. And worse in certain states. How do we resolve this issue?

@Peppa It’s a grey area because many of them could be a part of the LGBT or single by choice

@SW-User LGBT still has a place in this dynamic. Y