How do I stop being scared?
A little bit of background before I pose my question.
I am a gay woman, happily engaged to a beautiful woman. We have been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now. I met her in Dec 2017 and got engaged. We live in two different countries -- tons of paperwork/ visa policies have been successful in keeping us apart. I am out, she is not. We don't have a support system to speak of -- my friends don't approve of my relationship choices, my sister has been on the fence and my parents pretend like I never came out to them.
I am happy. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have found her. I know how devoted she is to me and I love her with all my heart. But I am a practical person and she's more emotional. I fall really short when it comes to understanding her emotions and mood swings, etc. I also have been a bad relationship before where I failed catastrophically.
We're trying a knot soon and I cannot think of a single person who will show up and bless us whole heartedly on our wedding day. Sad as that sounds, what terrifies me is what if I am not able to keep her safe and fulfill her emotional needs?
What do I do? It's not that I don't listen but I am also a person who had learnt it the hard way to let go of baggage and let go of grudges which she can't seem to do. How can I stop being rational and be more considerate towards her? Any ideas?
I am a gay woman, happily engaged to a beautiful woman. We have been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now. I met her in Dec 2017 and got engaged. We live in two different countries -- tons of paperwork/ visa policies have been successful in keeping us apart. I am out, she is not. We don't have a support system to speak of -- my friends don't approve of my relationship choices, my sister has been on the fence and my parents pretend like I never came out to them.
I am happy. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have found her. I know how devoted she is to me and I love her with all my heart. But I am a practical person and she's more emotional. I fall really short when it comes to understanding her emotions and mood swings, etc. I also have been a bad relationship before where I failed catastrophically.
We're trying a knot soon and I cannot think of a single person who will show up and bless us whole heartedly on our wedding day. Sad as that sounds, what terrifies me is what if I am not able to keep her safe and fulfill her emotional needs?
What do I do? It's not that I don't listen but I am also a person who had learnt it the hard way to let go of baggage and let go of grudges which she can't seem to do. How can I stop being rational and be more considerate towards her? Any ideas?
