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ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
This is going to be unpopular, but if someone is cheating there's great a reason why... Is true that some guys will just cheat because they can, but I don't think that is the majority of cases... Target than punishment, wouldn't it better to resolve what ever the problem is and to back to being who you both feel in love with?
And this applies equally to whoever is doing the cheating... Ok, resume, rant over!
And this applies equally to whoever is doing the cheating... Ok, resume, rant over!
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DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
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@AgapeLove
[quote]doing an act of evil like cheating is wrong, period.[/quote]
So like in an arranged marriage where a 20 year old girl is forced to marry a 45 year old because that's what her family expects of her and she has sex with someone she actually loves, that's evil and wrong.
If a woman is in an abusive marriage where she's too afraid to leave for fear of her life and chooses to have sex outside the relationship that's evil and wrong.
If a man is married to a woman who abuses him or won't have sex with him but he doesn't want to break up the marriage and risk losing his kids and he chooses to have sex outside the relationship that's evil and wrong.
Hmmm Gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you that cheating is "evil and wrong, period".
Seems to me it's not so black and white.
[quote]doing an act of evil like cheating is wrong, period.[/quote]
So like in an arranged marriage where a 20 year old girl is forced to marry a 45 year old because that's what her family expects of her and she has sex with someone she actually loves, that's evil and wrong.
If a woman is in an abusive marriage where she's too afraid to leave for fear of her life and chooses to have sex outside the relationship that's evil and wrong.
If a man is married to a woman who abuses him or won't have sex with him but he doesn't want to break up the marriage and risk losing his kids and he chooses to have sex outside the relationship that's evil and wrong.
Hmmm Gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you that cheating is "evil and wrong, period".
Seems to me it's not so black and white.
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@AgapeLove
Then we have a very different understanding of what evil means.
Why don't you take those examples and explain what about the decision to cheat is evil and wrong.
Or is it the case that you value the [i]idea[/i] of a marriage over the well-being of the humans involved?
Then we have a very different understanding of what evil means.
Why don't you take those examples and explain what about the decision to cheat is evil and wrong.
Or is it the case that you value the [i]idea[/i] of a marriage over the well-being of the humans involved?
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@AgapeLove I agree with you you are so right when you say there is no excuse for cheating there really isn't. if a guy thinks there is its a good sign he is a cheater. I wouldn't dump him just for that but it would make me suspicious if he has ever cheated because only cheaters would think of and excuse for cheating.
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@AgapeLove
[quote]you are such an annoying twat[/quote]
Yes, i rather imagine having your simplistic notions of right and wrong challenged is annoying.
Not going to stop though.
[quote] If you are forced to marry and have no choice, cheating will not make that situation better, only worse. [/quote]
How do you know it will make it worse? Why wouldn't having a relationship with someone you actually care about make the situation better?
You haven't explained why it's evil and you have explained why it's bad.
You've kind of just made an assertion that it would be worse.
[quote] being abused by someone isn't an excuse to abuse them back... and betraying their trust is abused. [/quote]
Oh i see. You think that the woman ought to be considerate of the man who she's too afraid to leave because he might kill her. It's evil of her to seek comfort outside of the abusive prison she's caught in.
Did that seem like a stronger argument before you posted it? Two wrongs don't make a right so the battered wife is evil and wrong for cheating?
Cool.
And i guess you're really just making the same argument for the last example. Just because you're in an abusive relationship doesn't make seeking intimacy outside that abuse not evil.
And unlike your absurd example of nuclear codes, all those things i mentioned are real life scenarios.
I'm simply making the point that your stance that cheating is always evil and bad is a simplistic one which fails to acknowledge the complexities of life.
You seem to be arguing that a battered wife or abused husband ought to be considerate of their abuser and that therefore it's wrong of them to cheat.
That's absurd.
Again, you appear to value the notion of what a marriage is over the well-being of the actual human beings involved.
[quote]you are such an annoying twat[/quote]
Yes, i rather imagine having your simplistic notions of right and wrong challenged is annoying.
Not going to stop though.
[quote] If you are forced to marry and have no choice, cheating will not make that situation better, only worse. [/quote]
How do you know it will make it worse? Why wouldn't having a relationship with someone you actually care about make the situation better?
You haven't explained why it's evil and you have explained why it's bad.
You've kind of just made an assertion that it would be worse.
[quote] being abused by someone isn't an excuse to abuse them back... and betraying their trust is abused. [/quote]
Oh i see. You think that the woman ought to be considerate of the man who she's too afraid to leave because he might kill her. It's evil of her to seek comfort outside of the abusive prison she's caught in.
Did that seem like a stronger argument before you posted it? Two wrongs don't make a right so the battered wife is evil and wrong for cheating?
Cool.
And i guess you're really just making the same argument for the last example. Just because you're in an abusive relationship doesn't make seeking intimacy outside that abuse not evil.
And unlike your absurd example of nuclear codes, all those things i mentioned are real life scenarios.
I'm simply making the point that your stance that cheating is always evil and bad is a simplistic one which fails to acknowledge the complexities of life.
You seem to be arguing that a battered wife or abused husband ought to be considerate of their abuser and that therefore it's wrong of them to cheat.
That's absurd.
Again, you appear to value the notion of what a marriage is over the well-being of the actual human beings involved.
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@AgapeLove
Yikes. In a bit of a mood today, are we? I don't know what exactly is the source of your agitation and resulting tantrum but i suggest you get it under control.
[quote]1)"Cool" in response me pointing out how abusers also have wellbeing and that two wrongs don't make a right[/quote]
No.
"cool" in response to you suggesting that an abused person should be considerate of the abuser and that if they [i]don't[/i] take their abuser's well-bing into consideration, it's evil.
[quote] I actually explain WHY I'm right in careful detail,[/quote]
Sanctimonious outrage aside, you haven't actually justified that.
Feel free to do so now. Or copy and paste what you felt was the detailed justification for why a victim is evil if they don't take care of their abuser's feelings.
[quote]Why would having a half-ass relationship behind closed doors based on lies make things worse?[/quote]
How do you know it's half-assed rather than more meaningful to that person than their arranged marriage?
How do you know it's worse? Have you been in that situation? Do you have data on that situation. I'll go ahead and assume the answer to both is "no".
So yeah, i guess you DO wonder because you don't actually know.
[quote]You telling me that your hypothetical has happened doesn't make what I said un-analogous, [/quote]
I didn't say it wasn't analogous. I pointed out that it is absurd. And it is especially when placed against real world issues. You attempted to invalidate the justification of cheating by making up an absurd circumstance wherein rape is permissible.
You made an absurd analogy as if it undermined the legitimacy of these real world scenarios.
You failed to do that. Sorry for calling attention to it.
Why don't you take a breath and come back to this when you're feeling a little calmer? You're uncommonly combative today.
Hit me up when you're feeling better🙂
Yikes. In a bit of a mood today, are we? I don't know what exactly is the source of your agitation and resulting tantrum but i suggest you get it under control.
[quote]1)"Cool" in response me pointing out how abusers also have wellbeing and that two wrongs don't make a right[/quote]
No.
"cool" in response to you suggesting that an abused person should be considerate of the abuser and that if they [i]don't[/i] take their abuser's well-bing into consideration, it's evil.
[quote] I actually explain WHY I'm right in careful detail,[/quote]
Sanctimonious outrage aside, you haven't actually justified that.
Feel free to do so now. Or copy and paste what you felt was the detailed justification for why a victim is evil if they don't take care of their abuser's feelings.
[quote]Why would having a half-ass relationship behind closed doors based on lies make things worse?[/quote]
How do you know it's half-assed rather than more meaningful to that person than their arranged marriage?
How do you know it's worse? Have you been in that situation? Do you have data on that situation. I'll go ahead and assume the answer to both is "no".
So yeah, i guess you DO wonder because you don't actually know.
[quote]You telling me that your hypothetical has happened doesn't make what I said un-analogous, [/quote]
I didn't say it wasn't analogous. I pointed out that it is absurd. And it is especially when placed against real world issues. You attempted to invalidate the justification of cheating by making up an absurd circumstance wherein rape is permissible.
You made an absurd analogy as if it undermined the legitimacy of these real world scenarios.
You failed to do that. Sorry for calling attention to it.
Why don't you take a breath and come back to this when you're feeling a little calmer? You're uncommonly combative today.
Hit me up when you're feeling better🙂
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@AgapeLove
[quote]Justified what, my rightness?[/quote]
Now you must realize that, that was not an argument.
I'm asking you to justify your assertion that it is [i]evil[/i] if an abused person cheats on their abuser.
Why are you dancing around that? [i]Why[/i] is it evil and wrong for them to cheat on someone who hurts or devalues them? Just cut the petty insults and self-righteous indignation and make your case, bud.
You seem to get very agitated at the notion that you are defending the feelings of the abuser but that's what you're doing.
Despite the fact that they're an abuser, the victim is still [i]evil[/i] for potentially hurting their feelings. That's what you're saying. If you feel that, that is a straw man then clarify why you determine that a victim is evil for cheating on their abuser.
Or you could just back off your simplistic assertion that cheating is always evil no matter what.
[quote]it's limited and is therefore half-assed. [/quote]
Well then so is the arranged marriage because you;re not emotionally invested.
It's limited.
So then your argument disappears.
Block me if you like.
Don't care, never cared😁😁😁
It won't strengthen your argument.🤷🏻
[quote]Justified what, my rightness?[/quote]
Now you must realize that, that was not an argument.
I'm asking you to justify your assertion that it is [i]evil[/i] if an abused person cheats on their abuser.
Why are you dancing around that? [i]Why[/i] is it evil and wrong for them to cheat on someone who hurts or devalues them? Just cut the petty insults and self-righteous indignation and make your case, bud.
You seem to get very agitated at the notion that you are defending the feelings of the abuser but that's what you're doing.
Despite the fact that they're an abuser, the victim is still [i]evil[/i] for potentially hurting their feelings. That's what you're saying. If you feel that, that is a straw man then clarify why you determine that a victim is evil for cheating on their abuser.
Or you could just back off your simplistic assertion that cheating is always evil no matter what.
[quote]it's limited and is therefore half-assed. [/quote]
Well then so is the arranged marriage because you;re not emotionally invested.
It's limited.
So then your argument disappears.
Block me if you like.
Don't care, never cared😁😁😁
It won't strengthen your argument.🤷🏻
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