What does it mean when your 'loving' spouse is more rude and disrespectful to you than he is to perfect strangers?

I feel like I'm watching the slow deterioration of my marriage and I try to communicate with him but he wont; he shuts down. I think he's lying to me about something again but I can't guess what and when I asked him who he was texting earlier he got super defensive about it.

Then when I asked him why... why he works so hard to hide things if there is nothing to hide he said, "because I like to see you make a fool out of yourself."

How can someone love you if they want to see you look and feel stupid? I feel like I'm at the end of a horribly painful epiphany in which I figure out that you can't love someone that you don't respect.

That this last time, it didn't even hurt. It should hurt, right?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Fernie · F

there are SO many gigantic red flags in your post. That's not love! He's a street angel and a house devil. Don't let this go on...either get some counseling or get the hell away from him

Angelfire21 · 36-40, F

@Fernie I think I have some self blame for this also because, as you said, there are a lot of red flags and if I'm being honest... a lot of them are from the early days which means that I've been seeing and ignoring red flags for a long time now.

I don't know why, but I know it to be true. Thanks for you comment, it really gave me a lot to think about.

Fernie · F

@Angelfire21 Good for you for taking responsibility for your part...there's never just one patient in a relationship...I hope you get out and find someone who truly loves you...it's not supposed to hurt