What does it mean when your 'loving' spouse is more rude and disrespectful to you than he is to perfect strangers?

@Happymedium Sometimes when I tell him he's being awful, he calls me crazy. He likes to make all of my emotions out to be crazy so when I come on here and people tell me he's being awful, it helps... it really does. It puts my perspective back in place.

@Angelfire21 well good!
I hope it helps you see things more clearly💙

@Angelfire21 He is manipulative. A narcissist. Someone who calls you crazy when you are not is trying to fool you. To deceive you. That is not love.

@PoetryNEmotion This is a problem I have dealt with for a very very long time. I have gotten better at calling him out on it when he starts in with his tactics but it's exhausting and he always, ALWAYS ends up calling me crazy.

I found a picture of one of the women he works with in his phone on accident a couple months ago. She's older and very overweight and I'm not sure what would be the appeal, but there it was. Our computers are connected and it got loaded into the family cloud where I ran across it and confronted him.

First he said he had no idea where it came from, then he said it was from facebook, then he changed his story and said it was a picture of a picture that he took when he saw it on her phone. Now, intelligently I understand that this is bullshit but he made me suffer so horribly for that conversation and at the end of it threatened to leave us because of my ridiculous jealousy and insanity and the twisted thing? I was the one who ended up saying sorry to get him to stay.

A few weeks ago when my son was throwing a tantrum about screen time, I told him not to cry about silly things like games and he said, "you're the cry baby! You cry when dad is mean to you!"

It hurt that he said it, but it hurt more than this is an observation that my 6 year old had made. I need to make a change. My heart hurts and my head is full of cotton and I'm sure nobody will ever love me again after I leave him, but the inside of a dysfunctional marriage is a lonely place and I'm glad I have SW and the people on it to remind me what reality looks like.

@Angelfire21 it sounds like the meanness is starting to rub off on your son. your son might be the next in the chain to inflict such hurt on his unlucky girlfriends and wifes later on! not really fair to them either 😢

@Angelfire21 You said sorry and he was the one who was wrong? And now your son is acting like your husband. It is abusive. You must love yourself, girl. I know what being in an unhappy relationship feels like. Someone would surely love you after you leave him. That is irrelevant at this moment. I admire your honesty and your intelligence. If you stay with him, your children will become just like him. I am glad you have your SW friends. Listen to them, please. If I may help, I would be happy to talk with you.

@newbie Well, we can't let that happen, can we? *longest sigh ever* I am going to start thinking about plan B.

@Angelfire21 he copied his male role model who abused his mom for years - so will your son unless you change the environment! don't be fooled by some of the (male) commentators who say you should submit to the father/son relationship - not just for your own happiness but even more so for saving your children from becoming life long abusers too! use your strength and self respect while you still have it🤗