Does depression stop them from falling in love?

I find it hard to fall in love altho I do love but it never last though. Except my love for my parents, my sibs and our kids.

Last guy I liked destroyed me then i met someone else i thought was nice but he wasnt. Ive left him and since then I've focused on myself til that stupid film reminded me of what I've never had in my lifetime. It hurts too much i wanted to just go.

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Docdon23 · M

@Julienne Yes--we do share common interests...I came from a dysfunctional family--abusive alcoholic father and kind but cold mother...they divorced...I always felt both unloved and wondered if I was even capable of love...I do have feelings for y wife, just not sure it is "true love"--although I a not sure I even know what that means! I a also very sensitive--when my wife does not listen or rejects y requests for intimacy or sex, I take it very personally...

Julienne · 51-55, F

Where u came from affected you emotionally and wasnt taught about love. When your wife rejects your requests, maybe she have personal probs of her own or maybe you went the wrong way about it?
If you can, get some therapy to help you sort out your confusions. Im sorry that your parents weren't very nice people. @Docdon23

Docdon23 · M

@Julienne You are right--she has her own issues, and she is very private and closed about them...she had an alcoholic father as well, although no abusive, and she has had breast cancer twice, removed both with no reconstruction...she takes many meds, and drinks a bit too much considering the meds...yes, I have found a few ways to deal with this--mostly meeting with tantra teachers who help me in many ways, and a counselor...thank you!!

Julienne · 51-55, F

Aw im glad that you've had some help. I feel for your wife though. Shes suffered ALOT esp the removal of her breasts. Shes prolly feel self conscious about her chest. She too needs therapy and hope she goes for it one day.

Anyway youre very welcome!
@Docdon23

Docdon23 · M

@Julienne Yes, I agree she needs therapy--but she won't do it. I reach out more than she does. The best I can do is take care of her. Yes, she has issues because of her breasts--she has only mentioned it twice in 37 years, that she misses her breasts. I do, too (I am a breast lover--have not touched or seen a real one in 37 years!)--but I did not want to say, "me too" for fear of hurting her.

Julienne · 51-55, F

@Docdon23 I think u do love her very much cuZ you are very mindful of her wellbeing. Youre so sweet and shes lucky to have you.

37 years without seeing breasts is a long time for sure ( u could see them somewhere else anytime) but without having breasts to feel womanly is a different story. I cant imagine how she feels, poor thing. Id go insane without having my breasts Cuz its a womanly thing and emotions are attached to them. Its like a guy got the chop and he cant get it anymore. Can u imagine that?

Hopefully she'd go for therapy in her own time. She'll regret it if she doesn't go.

Docdon23 · M

@Julienne You are right--I can see them elsewhere...I do stare too much sometimes (sorry for my honesty) and look on line...but, as much as I love them, you are right, I love her more...and i have my flaws as well...I certainly understand when you ask what a guy might feel like--i cannot honestly imagine having it cut off...just a blatantly honest thought--I wonder if a guy, or my wife (seems to be true) would develop (or has) stronger sensual touch-feelings in other parts of the body to compensate--it is like when I get a real good, slow, soft, sensuous massage--my back or chest or arms or stomach do feel sensual sensations...just a thought (but they do not feel anything close to down there, that is true, and they never...get aroused...)...and she does seem extraordinarily sensitive down there herself, and responsive...thank you for listening!