Does depression stop them from falling in love?

I find it hard to fall in love altho I do love but it never last though. Except my love for my parents, my sibs and our kids.

Last guy I liked destroyed me then i met someone else i thought was nice but he wasnt. Ive left him and since then I've focused on myself til that stupid film reminded me of what I've never had in my lifetime. It hurts too much i wanted to just go.

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Docdon23 · M

@Julienne Yes--we do share common interests...I came from a dysfunctional family--abusive alcoholic father and kind but cold mother...they divorced...I always felt both unloved and wondered if I was even capable of love...I do have feelings for y wife, just not sure it is "true love"--although I a not sure I even know what that means! I a also very sensitive--when my wife does not listen or rejects y requests for intimacy or sex, I take it very personally...

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Docdon23 · M

@Julienne Yes, I agree she needs therapy--but she won't do it. I reach out more than she does. The best I can do is take care of her. Yes, she has issues because of her breasts--she has only mentioned it twice in 37 years, that she misses her breasts. I do, too (I am a breast lover--have not touched or seen a real one in 37 years!)--but I did not want to say, "me too" for fear of hurting her.

Julienne · 51-55, F

@Docdon23 I think u do love her very much cuZ you are very mindful of her wellbeing. Youre so sweet and shes lucky to have you.

37 years without seeing breasts is a long time for sure ( u could see them somewhere else anytime) but without having breasts to feel womanly is a different story. I cant imagine how she feels, poor thing. Id go insane without having my breasts Cuz its a womanly thing and emotions are attached to them. Its like a guy got the chop and he cant get it anymore. Can u imagine that?

Hopefully she'd go for therapy in her own time. She'll regret it if she doesn't go.

Docdon23 · M

@Julienne You are right--I can see them elsewhere...I do stare too much sometimes (sorry for my honesty) and look on line...but, as much as I love them, you are right, I love her more...and i have my flaws as well...I certainly understand when you ask what a guy might feel like--i cannot honestly imagine having it cut off...just a blatantly honest thought--I wonder if a guy, or my wife (seems to be true) would develop (or has) stronger sensual touch-feelings in other parts of the body to compensate--it is like when I get a real good, slow, soft, sensuous massage--my back or chest or arms or stomach do feel sensual sensations...just a thought (but they do not feel anything close to down there, that is true, and they never...get aroused...)...and she does seem extraordinarily sensitive down there herself, and responsive...thank you for listening!

Docdon23 · M

yes...I married, more for feeling sorry for my wife--she had breast cancer twice, and I took care of her--than love...it is frustrating to wonder if I will ever have true love...but I do not want to leave her or hurt her...depressing sometimes...

Julienne · 51-55, F

Its nice to know that u cared for her enough to marry her. Shes lucky to have a very caring man in her life. I don't even gets a caring loyal friend like that at all. Im sorry you suffered tho cuZ u didnt marry for love.

Do you even have any feelings for her though?

@Docdon23]

Miram · 31-35, F

It can

PlumBerries · 31-35, F

not in my experience

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PlumBerries · 31-35, F

I hate that I fall in love pretty quick with some people. when I'm with them yeah its good but if the relationship ends, I fall really deep into a depressive state..
being alone can be great when you get used to your own company. both have pro's and cons.. ohh and love never is like how you see in movies. uggh movies and unrealistic expectations lol..

things will work out for you I'm sure. maybe you just haven't found the right person yet :)

Julienne · 51-55, F

@PlumBerries I hope u find someone nice permanently.

Julienne · 51-55, F

@PlumBerries yeah movies sucks!

deletingthisaccount · 26-30, M

I have depression and I've fallen in love many times. Depressed people want someone to make their life worth living. But the funny thing is, love is so painful that I'd rather be depressed and dragging my ass everyday with nothing to look forward to.

Julienne · 51-55, F

@deletingthisaccount

I hear and feel you. Sometimes I find it easier being on my own than going thru breaking up in the first place!

Docdon23 · M

I can relate. I had dysfunctional parents--abusive alcoholic father...I never felt loved, and, as an adult, I feared I could not love or be loved, even though I have been married 37 years...with kids...I still worry, but do not ever talk about it with anyone!

Julienne · 51-55, F

37 years is a long time and am glad you are. Worrying is good at times but not all the time. Makes u appreciate what you have but nonetheless, enjoy your marriage cuZ you deserved happiness and your parents have missed out on you and good marriage.

@Docdon23

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

I don't think so. An interesting concept. Love just kinda comes in and grabs you by the boo-boo.

Julienne · 51-55, F

@uncalled4 can it? I cant imagine it or even understands what youre saying.

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