How do you see the good in someone if they done something horrible.
22-25, M
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@SW-User It's odd. My step dad beat me black and purple and even knocked me unconscious between the ages of 7 and 14, and I used to have repeating dreams of beating him to a pulp as a child, but as an adult I saw him again, and we hugged and I didn't feel any of the hatred I had when it was happening. I even worked for the man for a while. He had become a different person though. I could tell that.
It might have been a lot different if the abuse was sexual in nature though. I realize that.
It might have been a lot different if the abuse was sexual in nature though. I realize that.
SW-User
@puck61 I know what you mean. I didn't talk to my mom for 20 years. I didn't stop talking to my mom because I hated her. I stopped talking to her because she triggered my PTSD every time I heard her voice. It took 20 years of therapy before I could get good enough control of my PTSD to even try to talk to her, but when we did see each other again, she was a whole different woman. She wasn't a good mom, and she is the first to say so, but she is a good friend of mine now. I never hated my mom. I hated myself because I felt I was unlovable from the day I was born, until I found my Husband. Everything that happened to me, I thought of as my fault and I thought I deserved it. Through therapy I worked all that out, though. The funny thing is even though we get along well, I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop. After my mom's 3rd stay in the state hospital here they gave her a diagnoses of multiple personality disorder. I know that at any time she can switch to an abusive personality and that still affects how close I get to her. Since we have been talking again I haven't seen the other personality, but I know she is still affected by it because she refers to the alternate personality and " the B*tch part" and she talks about that part often. I will face a decision soon that I am not looking forward to. My mother has to have a guardian to accept her SS disability check and pay her bills and be responsible for her care. Her father has been doing it ,but he is 87 years old. I am the only family left that can do it when he passes on. I am not sure how I am going to handle that.😐
SW-User
@puck61 If I didn't want to do it, could the state appoint her a guardian instead of me or does it have to be family? It is just that I still have 4 kids at home too and we live in a different town. It would be very hard to move my mom here and all her friends are in the town she lives in. She also has extreme social anxiety ,like I do, and I think it would really upset her to uproot her from the place she has lived for 20 years.
@SW-User Yeah, in health care cases like you've described, they take care of the bills and dole out the rest. I'm pretty sure the government pays for that service also. There are redundancy programs also if her social security doesn't quite cover her expenses. You might have to do a little paper chase.