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Am I a horrible person?

I was with a guy for two years, and honestly I don't remember why I ever called things off with him. Our relationship was amazing and I was ridiculously happy with him. But some things happened at home and I did break up with him, encouraged by a cousin that I have no idea why I listened to her. So, fast forward. I meet another amazing man, considerably older than I am, but I love him. We've been perpetually engaged now for three years. But, I have never stopped dreaming about my ex. Constantly. I moved back to my hometown with my fiance and saw him in passing at a store. He was with a few old friends that I remember and I kept trying to look for him in the store without my fiance realizing it. I texted him once a long time ago, and he told me he wished we wouldn't. I accidentally found his FB page on my People You May Know and clicked on it. I can't believe it's been over three years since we broke up. I have not stopped dreaming about him or loving him. I think of him constantly and since finding his FB, I'm obsessed despite him being a very private person and not having any pictures. I found one that a new friend of his posted. I think they're tubing or something. He grew a mustache. It suits him. He's going into the navy the way he always wanted. I sent him a friend request before realizing that the last post of any kind is a year and a half ago. But I can't get him out of my head, thinking that I don't know if I could ever love my fiance the way I still love my ex.
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pearllederman · 61-69, F
i dont think so