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Do we need to “accept” that we were rejected, after we were rejected, to “heal” the wound?

It’s been 4 yrs and it still bothers me. New unrelated rejections keep pulling it back up too. But how I was rejected is not okay i dont know if I could ever “accept” it like it’s “no big deal”. The memory hurts still....help??
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DownTheStreet · 51-55, M
To be rejected by someone doesn’t make you any less of person; it simply means you weren’t compatible with the person. The only way it makes you less is if somehow you ascribe a higher value to that person than yourself. It’s your choice.
VladG94 · 26-30, M
[@325552,DownTheStreet] Which is why men like it when women don't ascribe men so much in a higher value, I'd likely say no to her if she does that to me.. There's a reason why men are known as the pursuers and the sexual predator towards women, when women do it to a man then it pretty much means that she wants something from him which makes her untrustworthy tbh.
Signals · M
Yes, but what we should NOT accept, is that it’s the norm
VladG94 · 26-30, M
[@1148565,Frequencys] No, we're allowed to say no if we want to. It's a man's right to say no just as it is a woman's right to say no.
Signals · M
[@857258,VladG94] huh?!
VladG94 · 26-30, M
[@1148565,Frequencys] I meant that men should say no if they want to say no, just as women should say no if they want to say no. There can't be a "norm" where a man can't say no otherwise it's tyranny.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
When you do something for others and those others reject it.

Do you stop doing that at all? Or do you attempt to do it better?

What do you do when life gives you lemons?
MissNoahLenFoxx · 26-30, F
Make lemonade! You’re right! 💗[@412417,DeWayfarer]
4meAndyou · F
If you were rejected in a very bad way, it becomes a wound that contains poison. It will heal very, very slowly. The thing is, the human mind either WANTS to forget the really bad things, or it dwells on them...like a toothache, where you can't stop touching the bad tooth with your tongue.

I can tell you, from experience, that you will probably always remember this wound. You are probably deeply angry. And it bothers you.

But you have to consider the source, also. Consider the person who did this to you. Human trash, shallow humans, and nasty, evil humans dish out a lot of pain in this world, and probably don't even care. People like that are narcissists, or might even be sociopaths. Just consider that you have had a very lucky escape.

Remember also, that the evil done to you should never rule you, or ruin your day. The pain will fade, gradually, as your years pass.

I think back to the second ex, now, who used to fill my years with pain, and who messed me up so badly, and I can't even remember how badly he made me feel...because I don't care anymore. It took me 20 years to stop hating him. But now I just don't care.
LeaDhelani · 18-21, F
Depends on your interpretation of "accept", I mean do you have any other choice but to accept it and move on?
Zonuss · 41-45, M
Where rejection starts acceptance begins. Someone else will pick you.🙂
Johnsdough · 41-45, M
We have to somehow grow beyond our attachment to the pain. I hear meditation helps.
VladG94 · 26-30, M
Just my 2 cents, let it go and don't ascribe to the person so much, did you chase him and treat him like an idol? Because that very much is not going to help you in the long run, just find ways to get him interested in you instead of pursuing him..

 
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