Advice or answers? He told a friend

He told a mutual friend that he likes me and he always has. He doesnt act that way all the time. I mean he gives little hints here and there. But up until this, I was always thinking hes just hot an cold.
So now that i know he likes me, I have so many questions.
We have both liked eachother for over 20 years but neither of us have outright told eachother.
I know why we women dont say anything, but they say that men will go after what they want.
What do you think?
If he likes me so much, why is he so shy with me? He has even left me on read before so I dont bother messaging him anymore

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HootyTheNightOwl

You've answered your own questions...

If he likes you, then he may be afraid to put his foot in it and destroy what he already has with you. It's not like the poor guy knows whether you like him or not.

Not all men will chase what they want. In some cultures, a frank and honest discussion is needed and appreciated in most aspects of a relationship.

If I'm honest, I think that I prefer this way of dating to the one that I've been told that I "should be doing". I feel that we have a lot more openness and honesty than I've ever experienced before.

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Justgirl · 36-40, F

@HootyTheNightOwl I say Care, because i have been in love with him for what feels like my whole life. Im sure he cares about me too by the things he has said over the years but i was only told he likes me and always has

HootyTheNightOwl

@Justgirl If you rejected him once, then he may be put off trying again. Some men can be crushed and put off asking the same person again after being rejected once before.

Justgirl · 36-40, F

@HootyTheNightOwl yeah that makes a lot of sense. I liked him too. I jist followed some dumb rule that he was my friend's exe. I didnt know him when they dated and i didnt know they dated until i saw him and asked "who is that?" Because i was instantly attracted/connected to him. I feel aweful that i said no to him amd I always wonder if that hurt him in any way. I wish i said yes. I wanted to so bad

4meAndyou · F

Liking and loving are two different things. A guy can [i]like[/i] you, but not be interested in having a sexual relationship with you.

The only way to resolve this is to talk to this friend directly.

Justgirl · 36-40, F

@4meAndyou I want to. I might try

Jinxie · 51-55, F

Not all men go after what they want. He may be afraid of rejection, especially if he doesn’t know if you feel the same.

Justgirl · 36-40, F

@Jinxie Thank you that helps. I always think he knows because i act like a moron whwn he talks to me and say dumb stuff lol

SheCallsMeCrushDaddy · M

Maybe he just likes keeping his feelings to himself.

Justgirl · 36-40, F

@SheCallsMeCrushDaddy that could be. I just dont get why he'd leave me on read. Doesnt he know that would make me think he doesnt like me? From a guys perspective anywyays

Kae20 · 56-60, FVIP

Because some Men are of the mindset " if it isnt broke why fix it"

Incidentally Some women are of that mindset too.

Funnycat · 31-35, F

[media=https://youtu.be/6sTeeZFDpEk]

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