I Had Crush On Teacher

It was a physical education teacher who broke my heart...I didn't realize I loved him until I found his social media and tietheknot wedding page and realized he had both a fiance, now wife, and a little girl who came into the world recently. I realized I loved him the same time that information broke my heart.I still love him and my heart still hurts to the point I cry a lot of nights and stay up thinking about how much I still love him and how much it hurts.I'm 21 now, I had him between the ages of 17 and 18and I still visit his facebook sometimes, where there is a timeline of his life with his now wife and their daughter.Wedding photos are there now and I want to be happy for him but the last time he saw me, it was for a fewseconds and he barely aacknowledged me before he had his back turned to me and got on the phone with somebody who was likely his than fiance.

It was something about the way he noticed me with his eyes and a tender, kind of a sad look he gave me one time that I think made feelings I wasn't wholly aware of start to grow.I think my heart will be broken and I will love him forever, sometimes I feel like I would do anything for him but he'll never know that because we're forever separated. He probably doesn't ever think of me but I wish I could seehim again.Now all I have are the memories of those fleeting looks he gave me and the time I spent as one of his students in this ice rink area where everyone ice skated.I miss skating close to him then.

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KayraJordyn · F

All my male teachers were either too old or not very attractive. I can imagine the hurt based on my crushes back when. There were times I thought was on the same page as him and I was NOT. Or he was able to turn the page that fast. Either way.

Love can hurt. Take care of yourself, and try to understand that you -will- find someone else to love, with the hope that they will love you back. One day it might just happen, honey.

But not with this guy. 😔

FashionDesign101a · 26-30, F

@KayraJordyn
Thank you for the kind and encouraging words, I really appreciate it them.Everyday since seems like my darkest hour but I'll mentally remind myself of words told by kind people like you to increase my morale, thank you, again.

carsonfry · 22-25, M

I had it for a few of my female teachers too. Sadly, I did not get to get private for them either, but that is good because they still have their jobs and are not in jail.

FashionDesign101a · 26-30, F

@carsonfry
Well, there had been this one time that me and him were alone together.Everybody was to come to the auditorium instead of the ice rink one time and I was the first one there, I didn't have friends to stall me or anything, after I left from the cafeteria.He was giving me a stare I couldn't decipher but all I did was play a game on my phone lol, I didn't intend to do anything and wasn't even fully aware of my own feelings yet.I miss that moment though.Maybe it sounds crazy but I feel like I would die for him sometimes and a lot of times because of my broken heart, I feel like I am dying.

carsonfry · 22-25, M

It is OK, you will find another. Luckily you did not destroy his life or put him in jail.

FashionDesign101a · 26-30, F

@carsonfry
Yes, I'm happy about that as well, it's the last thing I would've wanted.Maybe in another life or maybe he'll get a divorce.I know it sounds bad but kind of hoping for the latter.

Jogadnbyt

Reckon you could take the dirty cunt off his wife all day long... 👌

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FashionDesign101a · 26-30, F

@Jogadnbyt
Well, I have thought of the idea of being his mistress, actually kind of fantazised about it but since we're separated now and there is an innocent child in the picture, I don't think it would be right of me to ever come back around and try anything.However, if he made the first move I probably wouldn't be able to put up much resistance but that would only be so far as getting a kiss at least, though tbh, part of me does want to have his kid.But that wouldn't be practical unless we were really together.Part of me hopes he gets a divorce someday and the relationship comes apart on its own

KayraJordyn · F

Thumbs up on the first part. Thumbs down on the second. @FashionDesign101a

FashionDesign101a · 26-30, F

@KayraJordyn
That's just honesty, what I mean is if it happens naturally, I'd have my hopes that maybe that could be my second chance.That's what part of me wants, but my overall opinion isn't being governed by what "part of me" desires.My true opinion, because I love him, is that his union with her, should be nothing but lifelong and filled with happiness.I want him to enjoy his time with her and his daughter and any potential future children.I know love isn't selfish, so no matter how much it hurts me and no matter the length of emotional suffering for it, I want him to have his true love with her.Unless, it naturally happens otherwise, I want their marriage to last, for his sake.

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