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LordShadowfire · 46-50, M
@ElRengo I agree. Forgiveness is one thing. Forgetting is another.
swirlie · 31-35
@LordShadowfire
Ah, but if you haven't forgotten, then you haven't forgiven!
You see, forgiveness is not about you forgiving the other person; forgiveness is about you forgiving YOURSELF for what you thought had happened.
It's never about the other person.
Ah, but if you haven't forgotten, then you haven't forgiven!
You see, forgiveness is not about you forgiving the other person; forgiveness is about you forgiving YOURSELF for what you thought had happened.
It's never about the other person.
LordShadowfire · 46-50, M
@swirlie I disagree. It's not about giving someone a clean slate. That's what forgiveness is. But forgetting what the person is capable of is not safe.
Let's say I have an argument with my best friend, and I call him something In the heat of the moment that triggers him to punch me in the nose. I forgive him for it, because that's what friends do, but if I forget that he is capable of physical violence under the wrong circumstances, that's not safe.
Or if I leave a $100 bill on my nightstand, and a friend comes over to hang out, and the money goes missing, I'll forgive them for trying, but I refuse to forget that of which they are capable.
None of that is to say I won't give someone another chance. But you'd better believe I'm going into that second chance with my eyes wide open.
Let's say I have an argument with my best friend, and I call him something In the heat of the moment that triggers him to punch me in the nose. I forgive him for it, because that's what friends do, but if I forget that he is capable of physical violence under the wrong circumstances, that's not safe.
Or if I leave a $100 bill on my nightstand, and a friend comes over to hang out, and the money goes missing, I'll forgive them for trying, but I refuse to forget that of which they are capable.
None of that is to say I won't give someone another chance. But you'd better believe I'm going into that second chance with my eyes wide open.
swirlie · 31-35
@LordShadowfire
It's not about forgetting what the other person is capable of, because you'll always remember that part for as long as you live. What you are forgetting is what they did to you, which is why the old saying goes, "forgive and forget". In other words, just forget about it.
When you go to a bank and declare personal bankruptcy, the bank "forgives" your outstanding loan, which means they just forget about it because you cannot pay them back anyway.
It does not mean they forget about it FOR NOW, but intend to come after you for it later.
Forgiving the loan means, forgetting about it. ... "IT" meaning, the current loan.
This does not mean the bank will turn around and let you do it to them again though!
It's not about forgetting what the other person is capable of, because you'll always remember that part for as long as you live. What you are forgetting is what they did to you, which is why the old saying goes, "forgive and forget". In other words, just forget about it.
When you go to a bank and declare personal bankruptcy, the bank "forgives" your outstanding loan, which means they just forget about it because you cannot pay them back anyway.
It does not mean they forget about it FOR NOW, but intend to come after you for it later.
Forgiving the loan means, forgetting about it. ... "IT" meaning, the current loan.
This does not mean the bank will turn around and let you do it to them again though!
LordShadowfire · 46-50, M
@swirlie That's the thing, though. I don't hold it against people. I just remember what they are capable of. People start out with a certain level of trust, and when they violate that trust, I'm very reluctant to give it back. That's not to say I won't still be their friend.