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Help - I think I’m in an abusive relationship.

So my partner keeps saying I frustrate him and recently we’ve had multiple arguments over stupid things, such as me falling asleep early (9:15pm) I’m a nurse and work 12.5hr shifts, 14 if you add travel. My partner works from home in a stressful, yet very flexible job where he often has time to play on his Xbox during the working day.

Tonight’s argument was me falling asleep early, apparently that frustrates him and pisses him off and I’m so selfish for it. I was explaining why I am so tried and all I got was ‘well I work in a busy job and I’m not tired you need checking you’re so weird for falling asleep at this time’. I kinda snapped when I shouldn’t which caused him to get really angry, shout at me and slam doors (have told him multiple times this scares me, I don’t do aggression well). To which he stated tonight that if I did not annoy him, he wouldn’t do it therefore it’s all my fault and I’m a selfish bell***.

He’s now sulking downstairs because I make his life hell and I’m so hard to live with and no one understands him. I feel emotionally numb and so tired. It’s draining me as I’m always the one in the wrong and he doesn’t seem to take responsibility for his actions and blames me.

Advice would be helpful… thanks x
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He needs to stop making his emotional happiness your responsibility.

You are both valid human beings, with your own responsabilities, and needs.

All i can suggest is that days you are on shift he needs to acknowledge your physical needs of rejuvinative sleep, and on your days off you can reccogise his needs for connection .

I had a partner who worked 12 hour shifts. And with travel time, time to wind down frim work , and time to eat....it left us very little time to connect on his work days.

But ....as a supportive partner, one has to accept [i]need[/i] over [i]want.[/i]

A relationship is give and take.
He gives you your rest on work days
You give him attention on your days off...🤷‍♀️

Youre job is VERY important , not just to you, but to society. You are an essential worker.
The last thing your patients need is for you to make a bad decision because of being overtired.

You deserve the right to self care .
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Convivial · 26-30, F
@PoetryNEmotion oh i saw his reply .
Made one of my own to him, but decided hes such an ass that even talking to him is kinda repulsive ....he's all 'Men deserve all they want and women should shut up and put out '
Besides, he can't even stay true to his own relationship with his wife....what the hell would he know about healthy relationships ?
He fucks around and admits it.

Hes not really prime realestate 😂
@Convivial 😂
Id call him a twat, but itd insult all twats😅
Convivial · 26-30, F
@OogieBoogie there are degrees of twatdom ;)