Thinking i want to ...

Find a real life partner.
Not just a computer screen and word vomit.
Searching for what I want has high standards, but hey I am a middle aged, divorced, no kids, no pets, non smoker, non drinking Christian lady.
Is it too much to WANT a hand to hold, a hug or a kiss in random places at random times?
Can a real life relationship be found?
If yes, prove it!
WHAT am I doing wrong 😕 🤔
I JUST dont understand why im not physically attractive enough..
Maybe its my age?
Maybe its my emotions?
🤷‍♀