Perhaps real man or a real woman is simply someone who remains human in a world that constantly asks them to perform.

Not a hero...certainly not a servant.

Just a person strong enough to love without ownership, stand without cruelty, and bend without breaking themselves to earn acceptance from strangers maybe.

👏👏👏 BRAVO!! RIGHT ON! Both partners not "punishing" the other, like a little kid, but actually sitting down like two sensible adults and actually talking over the problem. Respecting each other at all times and actually listening to the other person when they're speaking, instead of automatically trying to defend yourself right off the bat in your mind while they are trying to actually communicate to you what the problem really is, because then you won't find out what the problem is so it can be resolved cuz you're too busy trying to defend yourself, just because you didn't like what they said. But actually listen to your partner in a respectful way, without interrupting them and then to confirm that what you THINK YOU HEARD, is right, because people interpret things differently and you may not have it right so you must listen carefully. The thing to do, is to repeat back to them what you think you heard: "I think you're saying ___________.... did I hear you right?" Of course they'll say yes or no and then you say, "Okay, here's how I feel about that..... then ask, "what do you think would be a good solution here, where we both may (or may not) agree, but if we don't, we can compromise, so that each of us can be happy?" That's the way you do it. There's no need to argue, if both are mature adults. But that doesn't come easy. This is when you don't argue when one or both of you are still upset and angry. That is not the time to discuss disagreements. You both agree to talk about it when you're both feeling calm and can sit down in a relaxed manner and discuss it calmly. You owe each other that. And when you do allow yourself time to take that pause, it allows you both to think things through a little bit and you might even think to yourself well maybe it's not that big a deal. Maybe I was overreacting. But then maybe you weren't either but this will still give you a time to calm down, both of you. I believe that when two people respect each other, there's not anything that they cannot resolve. The resolution may not be perfect but that's not the point. It doesn't have to be perfect; it just has to be a resolution where you both can be happy. And there's another good reason to sit down and talk when you're calm and can really evaluate things. You're not looking across the table at somebody who still hot under the collar and has a grimace on their face like they hate you. You're not seeing a red-faced angry person with glaring eyes. That makes a big difference, because sure... you can listen to the other person who's speaking when you're in that state, but I guarantee you, you won't hear what they are saying to you, and that's the distinct, important difference, and it makes all the difference in the world, in the outcome.

You actually have to really love that person, to take the time and effort to train yourself to respond that way, and not fly off the handle and yell at each other. That's why love is a verb. It takes action and a conscious effort to treat each other the way you each want to be treated. If that would be practiced, I doubt we'd see very many divorces. And that also includes not pouting and avoiding contact because no one is a mind reader and each deserves to be heard in a way that is respectful and shows the other person you really do love them.

Great post!!!)

I agree with you. It's not so much a question of real man or real woman , but noble adult or immature child.

A real man or women doesn't shirk their responsibilities, they most often do what needs to be done. A real man always becomes part of the solution and helps others and his family. He/she is competent and able to perform any task that needs to be completed. Real men and women add value.Real men and woman are emotionally mature and are in control of themselves and their surroundings.

Basically all the virtues that make a good decent person can be ascribed to being a real man or woman.


I read this book "The Art of Manliness", it's a bit silly but it doesn espouse some of these old fashioned ideas. I recommend it.

Real men and women are mature enough to give space to their partners yet respect their choices,hold their hand when they fall,clap when they take the podium..

calm down joe jackson.

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