SinlessOnslaught · M
Love is real, with a caveat.
It's taught falsely. Love is not something magical and automatic that people "fall into" like in romance movies.
Love is an ability, an effort, and a choice.
Most people are not loving. They think they are, because perform actions that they think mirror how "love" is supposed to look. But it may only be surface level, and they may be keeping score of their deeds to hold it over someone's head later and to be owed a percieved debt.
These people can usually be spotted in the way they act toward others whom they don't believe they're socially obligated to treat in a decent manner. Strangers, customer service reps, some coworkers, children, animals.
As I say love is real, I'll admit one thing: it's absent in many areas of life. Some people may find themselves in a sort of "love wasteland" that's devoid of it. It's unfortunate, but it happens. And it can create the illusion that love does not exist at all.
I find myself in this place often.
The truth is, no matter where we find ourselves — in a place with love, or in a "wasteland" — we have to cultivate the stuff ourselves in order to nurture whatever love we're blessed enough to have been given. Even if it only comes from ourselves, and isn't returned.
I know this is hard, but love begins with yourself. You have to take care of your own wellbeing in order to be ready to care for others. A starved person can't have infinite strength to feed others, and a sleepless person can't have infinite energy to comfort others. When you care for yourself and your own wellbeing, you propagate that which will eventually be directed toward those around you.
And then it becomes a feedback loop. Love yourself > love others > love yourself > love others. One cannot exist nor continue to carry forward without the other.
To tie all this together, I have some advice for you specifically. Even when you sense that the people in your life don't love or care for you — even when you feel that they only act "loving" toward you in selective circumstances in order to get back from you later — you have to love yourself. You have to recognize that you're deserving of better treatment. That will strengthen your ability to love others, and sharpen your senses in order to recognize real love, should you come across it someday — and walk away sooner when you don't.
It's taught falsely. Love is not something magical and automatic that people "fall into" like in romance movies.
Love is an ability, an effort, and a choice.
Most people are not loving. They think they are, because perform actions that they think mirror how "love" is supposed to look. But it may only be surface level, and they may be keeping score of their deeds to hold it over someone's head later and to be owed a percieved debt.
These people can usually be spotted in the way they act toward others whom they don't believe they're socially obligated to treat in a decent manner. Strangers, customer service reps, some coworkers, children, animals.
As I say love is real, I'll admit one thing: it's absent in many areas of life. Some people may find themselves in a sort of "love wasteland" that's devoid of it. It's unfortunate, but it happens. And it can create the illusion that love does not exist at all.
I find myself in this place often.
The truth is, no matter where we find ourselves — in a place with love, or in a "wasteland" — we have to cultivate the stuff ourselves in order to nurture whatever love we're blessed enough to have been given. Even if it only comes from ourselves, and isn't returned.
I know this is hard, but love begins with yourself. You have to take care of your own wellbeing in order to be ready to care for others. A starved person can't have infinite strength to feed others, and a sleepless person can't have infinite energy to comfort others. When you care for yourself and your own wellbeing, you propagate that which will eventually be directed toward those around you.
And then it becomes a feedback loop. Love yourself > love others > love yourself > love others. One cannot exist nor continue to carry forward without the other.
To tie all this together, I have some advice for you specifically. Even when you sense that the people in your life don't love or care for you — even when you feel that they only act "loving" toward you in selective circumstances in order to get back from you later — you have to love yourself. You have to recognize that you're deserving of better treatment. That will strengthen your ability to love others, and sharpen your senses in order to recognize real love, should you come across it someday — and walk away sooner when you don't.
TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T
I don't have an actual answer, but here's my guess and thoughts.
See yourself through the eyes of the people who do love you.
They know you're not perfect, but they still love you because you bring happiness, light, good things in general into their lifes.
If you can aknowledge your faults, and keep working on becoming a better person, but also see your good qualities, I think that's the point you can start loving yourself.
In other words: You don't need to be perfect, but at the same time strive to be better while knowing you have plenty of good qualities.
I don't know if I'm making any sense, but those are my initial thoughts anyway.
See yourself through the eyes of the people who do love you.
They know you're not perfect, but they still love you because you bring happiness, light, good things in general into their lifes.
If you can aknowledge your faults, and keep working on becoming a better person, but also see your good qualities, I think that's the point you can start loving yourself.
In other words: You don't need to be perfect, but at the same time strive to be better while knowing you have plenty of good qualities.
I don't know if I'm making any sense, but those are my initial thoughts anyway.
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Lies we tell ourselves.
Killynumberthree · 22-25
Start getting along with putting up with everything
Ferise1 · 46-50, M
Young people need a lot of love. They deserve it.