Victim of Breadcrumbing

Move but let him know why, clearly. Easier said than done.
In my last post I wrote about how hard it is to follow my own advice.
All the best.
I second Fallflower about getting your power back. Like you wrote in the comments you've wasted enough time. Enough time wasted !

Definitely sounds like a situation that is only going to keep bringing you down if you stay in it. I would hope it would give you some closure to tell him it's not working for you anymore and you're done, moving on. Maybe putting yourself first does wonders for the self esteem.

This is an easy fix and you'll find clarity quickly. First, the next time he contacts you, take a couple hours to get back to him. You are unable to make whatever arrangements he's looking to make. "I'd love to, but I've already got plans" is your response. Nothing further. This is awful to say but it's true. The person who cares the least controls the relationship. You need to let him know through your actions that you are losing the connection. Don't say it, show it. You're busy. He'll wonder what's happening. You'll find out quickly where you stand. If you're seeing a different attitude, accept his next invitation but put limits on your available time.

You are people too, and you deserve to be pleased too.
If he loves texting when he feels the desire, maybe texting is the way to communicate with him efficiently. But be clear that it's over, otherwise he might not get the message and still bother you.

You should talk this over with him. May be hard to break, but it will get harder and worse longer you wait.
Hope you have support good support from friends and family.
Good luck.

I agree with both of the ladies before me. You need to make decisions that are good for YOU. If you are in a toxic or unhealthy relationship, step away. Take care of YOURSELF, not him.

This is a guy playing the field... no doubt about it. Block, but not without closure. You need closure for yourself, never mind what he needs, wants or cares about.

Do make it final, and know this isn't about you. I know it hurts on many levels, but truly, it isn't that you lack in any area, it's about him being a POS.

His lack of honestly conveying his intent shouldn’t have bearing on your self-esteem. You’re a grown woman with sexual needs of your own.

Turn the table. Use him while you’re looking for Man/Plan B. When you find him, and you will, that’ll be your current beau’s problem.

Just be sure that the new guy knows you’re not looking for a FWB. Most will get it that you’re looking for a LTR.

Assuming he's in your same age group, he's sampling the online goodies either multiple ongoing relationships, or serial relationships.

He's got enough material for a limited number of "deep" conversations, and that course has run itself dry, especially given the length of the relationship: 9 months. From this point on, it will be sex, when he wants it, and any time he wants it.

This may be what you want, but if it's not, time for you to move on. I'll also assume you met online, so an email should be all you need, and a block.

I would definitely move on. Too many good people out there to have weird feelings in only nine months. Good luck!

Talk openly and honestly about how you feel. His reaction will or should give you your answers. The question is whether you'd be willing to see it for what it is and take necessary steps.

Thanks. It just feels like such a waste of time.

All good things end sadly. It’s a sign that you are not in the right spot.

He thinks of you as a piece on the side. Nothing more and nothing less. In his mind you are someone to be ashamed of not someone to introduce to his family.

hev yoou ever talked to his wife or seen her

Pack and move on!!

What is breadcrumbing? is that like leading someone on?