Open Letter to the Ladies at SW

@TigerLili this comment is cruel but makes a valid point. Us flirtatious married men on SW are most likely staying with our wives. That does not make any of us a good bet for a serious long-term relationship.

@ThePatientAnarchist Just being real and not indulging the victim complex. Sure sounds like she was a willing participant until he became the “monster” that opted out.

@SpectralMourning she also sounds like someone wanting others to learn from her mistakes

@ThePatientAnarchist Tbh, a married man shouldn't be online flirting in the first place. If you love your wife, truly, you should stop and think how that makes her feel. Even if she is aware you do it, why would you want to?

Imho, a married man flirting is disrespectful to their wife and kind of shows a lack of care for her.

@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON you have an odd way of expressing that you agree with me.

@FoxyQueen As it is written:
[media=https://youtu.be/ZsADQpw-dD8]

@ThePatientAnarchist So...because you have a need, you can't control yourself? Is that what you are saying?

@SpectralMourning you’re very insensitive.

@FoxyQueen Should a real need be denied?

@ThePatientAnarchist Yes, if you've already made a committment to someone else. If you can't do what you agreed to in matrimony, why are you married? And why are you keeping your wife from someone who won't behave inappropriately and only flirt with her?

@FoxyQueen I'm not keeping my wife from someone like that. I'm not sure where that came from.

This site is full of married people who, for one reason or another, are flirting, or getting into erotic roleplay, or having romantic relationships, with other people on here. I'm not saying this is ideal but it is how things are, and each person's situation is different. It is also up to each person to try to be responsible about it.

@ThePatientAnarchist If you are unhappy in your marriage because you aren't getting what you need, chances are, she is too.

My comment was, if you aren't going to actually honor the contractual agreements you made when you both married, for whatever reason, then divorce and let each of you find someone new who will fulfill those needs.

Sorry, but there is nothing more disgusting than hearing a married man say, "my wife doesn't give me sex anymore so I'm just online trying to find some way to tide me over."

Sir, you have two hands. You have a mouth to express your feelings and needs to your wife. She has two ears to listen and a mouth to explain her needs and wants. You have two ears to listen to her side. That's called having an adult relationship. To talk through things and find compromises and solutions. If you both can't do that, do each other a favor and divorce. Then you will be doing a favor to all the women you flirt with a favor too by not making them complicit in your cheating.

@FoxyQueen
I enjoy talking with you, even about this, because you are smart and interesting. Also there is a generous concern for other people underlying your comments.

However --

I'm not sure how I became the representative of married men here! As I said, there are lots of married people on here who in one way or another are not walking the line 100%. Are you going to have this kind of conversation with each of them?

In my particular case, my wife and I have a good sex life. That is not the issue. Like I said, everyone's situation is different.

I am not going to divorce my wife because I flirt (etc.) with other people on line. That is black-or-white thinking that doesn't account for the complexity of real life, or at least, many people's real lives.

@FoxyQueen I am not justifying myself with "everybody else is doing it" -- I am questioning why you are putting your time and energy into attacking me specifically. But I guess you just saw the opportunity since I'm the one who happened to make an honest comment on this thread.

I think you are taking out anger at other people, on me.
I am sorry for what you went through with your ex-husband. But my wife is not you and I am not your ex-husband. We have our own hurts and our own connection.
"Men seem to have low opinions of women's men friends" -- maybe men in general do. I don't. My wife has lifelong male friends whom we both get along well with.

"If the woman you are flirting with is actually looking for a serious relationship, you are keeping her from doing so" -- I brought up this exact concern to my SW Mistress many times. I did not want to stand in the way of her finding a real-life lover. That is one of the reasons for the end of our relationship. So no, I'm not "happy being the cause" of hurtful consequences.

My profile says I am married, and I have never hidden that when talking with anyone on here.

@ThePatientAnarchist As I said, you do you. As long as you understand the consequences of your actions, and you are aware that you are potentially hurting others, go for it.

I just don't participate in that kind of thing. I'd rather not be the catalyst of pain for others.

@FoxyQueen You are a good person.

@Jenny1234 in this scenario absolutely. Zero sympathy. I love how many people are all “oh poor darling” over a woman getting ditched by a guy she knew to be married. She’s no better than him. This post should also serve as an open letter for any men she interacts with here.

@SpectralMourning Yours is a legit and honest response. Us women need to take some responsibility for playing into it.

@Magenta in this case, it sounded like she was