I feel like I let myself get thrown in a loop
It's been months, maybe even about a year or more and I still keep getting stuck in the same anger and hurt over a stupid crush.
So what happened is that, I had confessed my feelings to a girl I liked, she didn't really give me some kind of answer of how she felt about it, so I stayed quiet about it and just wait to see how things go. We've been quite good friends for awhile but sometimes she does and says things that give me mixed signals and hope that this could be building up to be something more than just friends, yet at the same time, rumors say that she's seeing someone else. I tried asking her directly but only gave me vaguely "no" kind of answers. Until one day she sent me messages on holiday that were really flirty but that made me panic from all the confusion and we kind of fell off at some point due to problems with our friend group. A few weeks passes by, it's valentines day and I check the anonymous letter board in our campus, and I see a letter that I could tell was her hand writing, and it was a confirmation of so many of my doubts and fears, but she was definitely seeing someone else within our friend group.
We are not really friends anymore and my romantic feelings for her have long since faded, yet I still feel so angry and bitter. I would have been happy being just friends if only she didn't string me along like that. I wish nothing but the best for them, yet I sometimes wish they would get hurt like I am right now. Until now, I don't have the answers. Was she playing me all this time? Or was I just a stupid delusional idiot? Did everything we had together was all just me making it up, or was it all shallower than I thought?
So what happened is that, I had confessed my feelings to a girl I liked, she didn't really give me some kind of answer of how she felt about it, so I stayed quiet about it and just wait to see how things go. We've been quite good friends for awhile but sometimes she does and says things that give me mixed signals and hope that this could be building up to be something more than just friends, yet at the same time, rumors say that she's seeing someone else. I tried asking her directly but only gave me vaguely "no" kind of answers. Until one day she sent me messages on holiday that were really flirty but that made me panic from all the confusion and we kind of fell off at some point due to problems with our friend group. A few weeks passes by, it's valentines day and I check the anonymous letter board in our campus, and I see a letter that I could tell was her hand writing, and it was a confirmation of so many of my doubts and fears, but she was definitely seeing someone else within our friend group.
We are not really friends anymore and my romantic feelings for her have long since faded, yet I still feel so angry and bitter. I would have been happy being just friends if only she didn't string me along like that. I wish nothing but the best for them, yet I sometimes wish they would get hurt like I am right now. Until now, I don't have the answers. Was she playing me all this time? Or was I just a stupid delusional idiot? Did everything we had together was all just me making it up, or was it all shallower than I thought?
