That men are fixers, and women are processors. Men are presented with a problem and actively work to resolve the problem. Women are presented with a problem and a flurry of things start working; emotions, potential solutions, end results.
This doesn't mean either one is better than the other. We often get to the same ending, just in different ways.
A lot of men get frustrated when they solve a problem for a woman, and she becomes upset. It's understandable. They say a problem and did what needed to be done to fix it. Done deal. But the woman hasn't finished processing it yet, and doesn't feel heard.
Not all problems need solutions. Not all solutions are the right ones. Sometimes, one just wants to process the emotions and everything that goes with it. Sometimes, someone just wants to be heard with no advice. Sometimes, someone just wants to feel validated in their feelings without a resolution.
One of the best solutions to prevent frustration is to ask questions. We have truly lost this art. To ask the why's and the what would you like me to do's. Sometimes that is all the resolution a problem needs.
All of us utilize two neurological/anatomical systems. The frontal cortex for logic, and rational thought. The limbic center for emotions and bonding. In each of us, regardless of gender, one of the two neurological centers has primary governance. This is why the political left and right exist. It is also why your content above is quite correct.
I tend to get what you wanna say, but When you keep whining and whinging about the same problem, it goes beyond being heard, its more about being addicted to the feelings that comes with the nagging , whining and whinging
@SilentObZerver Actually, the fact that you call it whining is pretty awful.
That usually indicates an insecurity or fear of not being heard. That reflects more on your inability to provide the security your partner needs, which isn't surprising by your attitude.
@FoxyQueen I understand you're not comfortable with the word "whining", and I respect that.
But when someone keeps repeating the same complaints over and over..... even when you're genuinely listening — yet refuses to reflect or clearly communicate what the actual issue is... it stops being healthy.
At that point, it feels more like they’re attached to the feeling of being upset rather than making any effort to heal or grow. And honestly, that doesn’t help anyone.
@SilentObZerver It isn't that I'm not comfortable with the word. Your useage of it is condecending, as if somehow, you never whine because it is beneathe you.
Repeating yourself does not resolve you of the fact that you are unwilling to understand that your partner is looking to you for comfort, support and security and your response is, "Quit whining!"
Work on yourself and how to become a better partner before you hurt and damage another person please.
