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Should I tell a person who is interested in me my sexual history?

So sad story, after my eight year relationship which was very abusive/ unhealthy. I became intimate with a friend who I used to advise about stuff he was going through. So one time when I wanted the intercouse stuff to stop, he forced his way after i was begging to stop...i started crying out of nowhere, and then he stopped and basically sent me an apology text when I got home. I was also found out he filmed me without permission when we were having a conversatio. I'm no longer in communication with the person but a girlfriend ( she was the one advising me to do stuff to get over my ex) basically told me I was assaulted.


Anyways, I think i finally found someone interested in me. And he is willing to call me often, etc. Basically all the stuff I have ever wanted. He is not experienced. He has had one sexual partner, relationship. And now I've had two partners now sadly and one relationship.

We agreed on transparency although we've never even held hands. But I want him to make up his mind about me so he doesn't feel cheated. I told him, I've had one relationship which is true but I didn’t think it was appropriate to go into the sex talk.

I have another girlfriend who advises against me telling any guy at all anything about me from past relationships.

So what's the best step here.....
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ViciDraco · 41-45, M
I would think for a long moment about how you believe these past experiences might impact your behavior in this new relationship. And then I would begin the discussion from there.

For example: If the SA encounter might make you flinch from sudden touch or make you want to take a slower path to reaching a sexual stage in the relationship, that is information that would help him understand your behaviors or pacing. So something like:

"I had an experience with an ex where he hesitated to accept no as an answer and would have raped me if I didn't start crying. Because of that, I might flinch or jump from sudden unexpected touch." Or "Because of that, I need you to be aware how important consent is to me."

Start at a high level with how the experience is going to impact your relationship with him. You don't need to volunteer excessive details up front, but then allow him to ask for what details seem important to him in order to fulfill the transparency.

Transparency isn't always about saying everything up front. But you should at least say enough that they know there is more if they wish to look for it.