I have a question. What would you do, if after reading your letter, he wanted to come back?
It is my firm belief that people leave each other for a reason....it didn't work. Therefore, I do not feel that it is good to revisit a toxic relationship later on and expect it to work. I think our feelings warn us to protect us; to tell us it's time for a change because this is definitely not working... to move on and I believe that's what you have done. If it didn't work the first time, I feel it is questionable that it would work the second time. You were split up for a reason. To go back I think would be a huge mistake. We must be true to ourselves so that we do not expose ourselves to more hurt. That doesn't mean we hate the person, or are mad at them. It just means it didn't work for us and that's okay. Everyone has their different preferences. It's usually not even personal. That is, nothing against the other person, but only that we can all like the same people. If it's not working, it should never be forced. I do wish you the best and I believe now you'll really have a happy, free, and complete life. You can breathe again without being all tensed up or maybe even controlled. That's not love. That's manipulation and narcissistic behavior. No one should be expected, if they love themselves, to put up with that. I always say be true to thyself.
@LadyGrace oh miss grace I don't plan to give this to him. This is my way of getting the closure I waited for. Sometimes we have to give it to ourselves in order for us to move forward. I just wish i would have done it sooner, but in a way I was probably ready now to do it
Exactly! You are a very wise woman. You did exactly as I did. I wrote a long letter and said everything I needed to say and I took it out to the trash bin and burnt it that my feelings and petition for healing would be symbolized in the burning of it and letting it rise to heaven before God. It was very healing and finalizing. I didn't need to send it and I didn't need to write negative or ugly words to anyone. I only needed closure for myself that I would never get from him or confession that he lied to me so bad. I didn't need that. I made my own closure, stood up for myself, respected myself and that was enough. That's a true sign of closure and maturity and you have displayed that. I could not be more proud of you my dear.
Honey you will get through this and you will heal from this. I went through the exact same thing and it broke my heart but after a year and 3 months of grieving what he did to me and lying to me, I did recover and then was able to look back and say, what in the world was I thinking? Why did I like this man? 😂😂 It took me a year and 3 months to rethink things and put things in perspective and tell myself the truth. Not what I wanted to believe but what was actually the truth and I had to do that because it left me with PTSD which I was able to heal myself from by telling myself the truth. The truth sets you free. A lady friend of mine was going through the same thing at the time and we worked with each other and helped each other get through it and over our PTSD. It can be done. The key is to tell ourselves the truth. If we love ourselves we will tell ourselves the truth. I am so happy that I broke up with that person. He was so toxic. Once I worked my way to the other side, I was so happy and I was able to help others because of that. When someone says they love you but they're lying to you, they're just truthfully wanting to use you and being a narcissist, the truth of the matter is they don't know what love is so they can't love. They know what they're doing when they hurt you and lie to you. The truth is they are emotionally unavailable. That should never be forced. I know narcissists inside and out. They do not know what love is. Not because they're stupid, but because they're alter ego has taken over and they want nothing to do with real love. Love to them is ONLY about control. Their definition of Love is always control.
I want you to get excited about that new person you'll meet one day. Think how beautiful and lovely it will be. Think about what he will look like and get excited about a new friendship. He's probably looking for you just as much as you are looking for him, but he's out there. You are young. God will make a way for you, where there seems to be no way. It's only the beginning!
You have made your own closure and that is very important. I'm very proud of you for taking this important step. I wish others would do the same. I'm sure it is a huge load off your shoulders. Now you can move forward. This is so good. 🥰🤗🙏
It has been said that if you write something down as you did concerning your ex, get out all your feelings and emotions in writing, then burn it. This helps you to put it away in your mind and/or letting go of it all.
