GabbySA8 · F
Your boyfriend needs a spine
I agree with some of the others here. She sounds like a great mom but I think calling five times a day does sound a little excessive. Sounds like she's really lonely but she really does love you guys. But this having him come repair things every single day is excessive. She just really sounds lonely. Does she go to church where she can fellowship with other women and go out and do things with them? Sounds like she needs a good friend, besides family. I agree with the others that said you should talk to your husband about it and he should talk to her then and help her understand a little better. But I would never block her calls. That would only cause trouble in the family not only now but later on and the last thing you should do is cut off communication. That's just something you'll have to deal with later since you are all family. You might even call her and say Mom I love you very much but I just can't be on the phone five times a day. And then you can give her some examples of what you have to deal with every day. Maybe she doesn't realize that. Maybe you have children you have to attend to constantly. But I would just say I love you but I can't get these things done if I'm constantly on the phone and that's with anybody, not just you. And say it real sweet and I bet you she would understand then. And she wouldn't be hurt. We really don't want to hurt our family and I know you don't. Sometimes moms who are by themselves after their children leave, have all the time in the world and they can forget that people do have things they have to do during the day, especially if they have children. And then if she calls one day and you can't talk to her, just say Mom I love you but I can't talk right now. And maybe sometime you could invite her over for dinner or something to make her feel more wanted if that's what she's feeling, a lack of inclusion. She needs a friend to hang out with and go shopping or whatever. She just really sounds lonely. I hope this can be resolved and your family come in harmony again.
oldgrumpbear · 70-79, M
@LadyGrace This is wise advice.
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oldgrumpbear · 70-79, M
@oldgrumpbear Direct confrontation is likely not a good solution. Use positive "we" statements expressing things you can do for her. This should put control with you & your BF and when you don't want to do something she wants, offer her alternatives that work for you which will keep things on your terms. Good Luck
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
Talk to your boyfriend about it and make sure he understands that it's his mother and it's his responsibility to work it out. If he can't or won't, then you need to speak to his mom — calmly, respectfully — to let her know that her behavior is causing stress in your home and in your relationship. If she isn't willing or able to ameliorate her behavior, cut her off. You're under no obligation to speak to her or to have her in your home. She comes over anyway? Pack up the kids and go for a trip to the park. Remove yourself from the conflict.
That's really the key to something like this. Do not engage with the mom's drama or conflict. You do not have to fight with her. You do not have to convince her that you're right and she's wrong. Just step away from her entirely.
That's really the key to something like this. Do not engage with the mom's drama or conflict. You do not have to fight with her. You do not have to convince her that you're right and she's wrong. Just step away from her entirely.
laurieluvsit · 26-30, F
Put it in writing.
Text her, email her or snail mail her.
This will give you time to prepare a well thought out tempered and positive reply to her outlining your position and what you wish for going forward.
Let your boyfriend read it as well first to make sure you are both on the same page.
If you and your boyfriend are on the same page all is well.
If the 3 of you are on different pages, or he is on her page, you are in big trouble moving forward but at least this will bring everything out to the surface ...just saying.
Good luck!
Text her, email her or snail mail her.
This will give you time to prepare a well thought out tempered and positive reply to her outlining your position and what you wish for going forward.
Let your boyfriend read it as well first to make sure you are both on the same page.
If you and your boyfriend are on the same page all is well.
If the 3 of you are on different pages, or he is on her page, you are in big trouble moving forward but at least this will bring everything out to the surface ...just saying.
Good luck!
Elisbch · M
Mommy calling 5 times a day is..... well... controlling by keeping tabs on her boy. I can see your view. That would be very annoying. I hope you can have a good conversation with your husband but more importantly I hope he listens.
Teslin · M
It's OK for her to call for some help periodically. Especially if she is living alone. But her criticism is not warranted.
Your BF has to step up and say something before you blow up at her.
Your BF has to step up and say something before you blow up at her.
Barefooter25 · 46-50, M
You need to talk to your boyfriend first about this. He also needs to talk to his mom and tell her to stay out of your and his relationship. Your bf is already a grown man. The last thing a couple needs in a relationship is for the man to be considered a "mama's boy".
akindheart · 61-69, F
i would both of you sit down with her and tell her what she is doing even if she knows it. that way she can't deny her interference and you appear to be a joint force. not you as the enemy making him be the bad guy
Warlock · M
It sounds like something your bf needs to discuss with her. He needs to be able to set some boundaries.
YoMomma ·
Some mom's are annoyingly obsessed with their kids at a crazy lvl 😒 guess she has nothing else to do? She's all up in your business.. butting in trying to keep her hooks in her son .. maybe you should complain to him about her because obviously she cant get a clue to chill and back off. She's being unreasonable
Muthafukajones · 46-50, M
Talk it other with your bf. He can straighten his mom out.
justbob · 61-69, M
Maybe she just gets lonely
MrsMotherlyLove · 31-35, F
@justbob a little too lonely for me she has a man though.
Talk to him about it!
JamesBugman · 56-60, T
Maybe she is super lonely?
swirlie · F
Subsumedpat · 36-40, M
Send her to me I have mommy issues and need one.
Subsumedpat · 36-40, M
@Subsumedpat Psychology does weird things.
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
I would just block her number
496sbc · 36-40, M
its his fualt for picking up he should kay the law to his mom and tell her stop.
swirlie · F
This is actually your husband's job to fix his mom's bad habit, not your's. It's your husband's job to address his mother's intrusive habit because he can get away with it but you can't, so you need to get on this sooner than later.
TWO WORDS:
Caller ID
Caller ID
Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M
You need to take control, you are the mother of your kids, not her
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