How did you go about starting over after divorce?

Mainly for fellow divorcees after ending long-term marriages.

Marriage changed and challenged me in so many ways. I can't see love the same way anymore. Not in a bad way, but realizing it isn't enough.

Starting another relationship which may also end like this doesn't bother me. It's better to appreciate the moment instead of worrying about uncertain futures.

There's a future I want, with someone, though it is very uncertain. It's possible it may not happen in this life.

It's a rarity finding decent people. Feels like the worlds changed so much. Or maybe my luck ran out. Who knows.

How did you do it? Where did you end up?

Thanks.

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zonavar68 · 56-60, M

I've never been married but have been in two LTR's that fell apart. In the first one my ex cheated on me but at the same time I take responsibility for taking the relationship for granted. She'd wanted to get married very early on, I could never do it. 15 yrs we were together than three great kids (all adults now).

Second one was totally different and lasted 5 yrs. Both attracted by our wierdnesses, but things started to go bad when we decided on having a child together and the path that took led to complete isolation once the pregnancy happened and her ultra-toxic narcissism came to the surface which destroyed all my trust in her and I left her the day before my 50th birthday when our daughter (who's now 7.5) was just over 1 y/o.

I've never been in a relationship since that lasted. She tried one, and I did too, and she's still single now like me.

The only thing I can say is that the feelings of bitterness and depression will go away with time. I don't have any friends or any female-style friend circle so I deal with all of my issues basically by myself and I have to reach extremes before I can ask for help. My second ex is totally ultra-social so the complete opposite in that respect.

I focus 100 pct on my daughter (and my adult kids but they're self-sufficient now) and will not sacrifice time with her to go on dates or have intimate sexual relationships unless the person(s) I date, etc. accepts me and my daughter as a package deal. That's almost impossible in single women my age who almost universally demand a man be totally unencumbered by work or family to be able to give 100 pct of his time (and money!) towards a romantic relationship where everything else is not relevant. Modern women epitomise the 666-rule of dating almost universally (based on my experiences of trying to date in the last 5 or so years).

Elisbch · M

@zonavar68

the 666-rule of dating

I'm have to admit I didn't know this term ... but I have not been actively dating or looking in a while.
I would have to pass on someone that has these ideals even if I had all 3 of those attributes just on principle alone. Seems terribly shallow and cold to me. I've already had cold and shallow with narcissism thrown in in heavy doses. I would rather be single the rest of my life than ever deal with one day, 1 hour, 1 minute or 1 second of that.