What's the right balance in supporting your partner to become better (and not make her overwhelming)?

I just told my partner not to do something, and then she said I was being too demanding with my expectations. After reflecting on it, I feel like maybe I've been too eager to 'change' her for the better. I realize that my attitude of wanting to 'change' her might also be toxic, but my reasoning is that I do it because I care and love her. I want to know what boundaries I should set so I can still support my partner in becoming better without overwhelming her or making her feel like they're not accepted as she are. What do you guys think?

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easterniowegin · 51-55, M

There are certain activities that can/should absolutely be boundaries. Can't say whether your example crossed a line, since you didn't share what the activity was.

But know that it isn't controlling to say that you'd prefer your gf not do x. Being your gf is not required....she gets to choose whether she maintains that status by her choices.