Am I wanted or am I being emotionally manipulated? Guy who fight with me, calls me worthless,...

SW-User

He makes you feel unwanted much of the time, which increases your need for him to make you feel wanted and when he does it feels ten times as strong as it would normally. It's basically a cycle of addiction rather than a healthy relationship. People who really want you for the right reasons don't trash you and treat you badly. You shouldn't only feel desired when they're in a good mood or want something from you.

deadgerbil · 22-25, M

@Fifidog well he's bad for you. Your desire to be with someone is clouding your judgement

Fifidog · 22-25, F

@deadgerbil now what can I do? Other feel want me but I felt no connection with them

deadgerbil · 22-25, M

@Fifidog what's wrong with simply being single 💀

Fifidog · 22-25, F

@Camelia yes and the only person I’ve felt wanted by or connected to

Camelia · F

@Fifidog Understandable It's your first relationship, and you have nothing to compare it with, but sweet girl, this isn't caring behaviour; it's toxic behaviour. Sometimes we don't see this because we are wearing our rose-coloured glasses, so everything is in love mode. I'd say to tell him how it makes you feel, but if you don't feel safe doing so, ask a friend to support you by being with you. If you really do feel afraid, the best option would be to leave; it's going to hurt, but you will see with time that it wasn't meant to be because caring lovers don't behave in a toxic way.

IM5688 · 61-69, M

If you hook up with this guy, you are opening the door for him to mentally , (and maybe even physically,) abuse you. If you stay with him, you will be getting into a situation that will control you for the rest of your life as you will eventually thrive on, (be addicted to,) his abuse of you. Steer clear of this guy.

perceptivei · 31-35, F

I don't know. It's interesting you're aware of this. I've been in situations in which people would think that about me, but I was never aware of it. Also, it wasn't that way in every relationship. If you're aware of it, do you think you can change it?

Subsumedpat · M

You have internalized your negative feelings about that, those feelings need a place to discharge but since you internalized them they discharge within you and in this case link to feelings of being wanted.

BigBulge · 41-45, M

Don't you deserve better than this ?
Mr. Right can't find you as long as you continue to cling to your current guy.

Neoerectus · M

@Neoerectus Love yourself and grow your sense of self worth. Then the parasites will bother you less.

SubstantialKick · 31-35, M

Based on your description of him and how he treats you, I think you already know.

Tracos · 51-55, M

Sounds like you need to dump this ass

This is toxic behaviour that only leads to misery

perceptivei · 31-35, F

@Spoiledbrat I was going to give you a hard time for saying such... but, hey! That might work!

caccoon · 36-40

Usually our relationship with our parents and the way they treated us when we were children can set us up for abusive relationships. Do you have access to therapy?

No one who loves you should EVER call you worthless, but I understand. I have been in many relationships with bad men, and it is because both of my parents were fucked. It normalized abusive behaviour for me and it feels like love because it was a part of my childhood where there was no love or safety or support

deathfairy ·

u already know he’s not good for u so what’s the point of u asking? if u want to know why ur choosing someone who makes u feel worthless, you have to do some inner reflection because all this relationship is, is just a mirror.