Asking
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Should I give up?

I'm just going to drop the ball on this and say it... I love my boyfriend, but he's addicted to work. He is 46 and has been married before. So he's not super into the idea of long-term commitment anymore. I think he doesnt believe it's achievable forever.

I've never been married and I am 32. I hope to be some day though. I love communication and touch, and I need to see my partner at least 1x/week. He can go weeks without talking or seeing me, but he still loves me. He just gets consumed in work.

I tried talking to him about this last night, since it's been about a month since we've seen each other in person last. When we do see each other in person, it's magic, but I need the continued long distance communication to keep the flame burning. The longer we go without talking the more anxious I become in the relationship and unsure of how he feels.

So anyways, I brought this up to him last night and asked him what the minimum and maximum time he would ideally like to have together. He asked me and i answered, then I asked it back. In response he said, "This is boring. I dont want to talk about it." I explained that I dont feel good when we rarely see each other but if there was some limit/standard/expectation it would make me feel more secure in the relationship. He said "That's too mechanical." I continued to try to explain, but it seemed like he was getting bothered by the idea of talking about it.

We currently see each other in person about 1x/month. We live a 5 hour drive from each other and it's a 45 min flight.

It started out as a phone call, then went to text. Here are the messages from that conversation.

[image - please log in to see this image]
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
NickyLee · 41-45
I'm one of those guys that work on the road also, and just from what you've said already, I can tell that you're not going to do well with that life.
That's not at all your fault. It takes a toll on the wife back at home and then if you introduce children into that life, it gets even worse.
You're in a rough spot and I truly feel for you, but that's the reality of the circumstances as long as he plans to stay on the road.
I've tried coming off the road but the best I can do both financially as well as control my sanity,is to go out on the road a few weeks every few months. Once you get a taste for that big money, it's hard to turn it down. Plus if he's anything like me, he'll go crazy not seeing different jobs or different states.
The other side to this though is the loneliness we face, living in hotels most of the year. So it's hard on us to which in turn, creates even more stress in a relationship