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My bf is jealous of my bi friend. What to do ?

I’m bisexual myself and he knows it of course. I’ve met my friend couple months ago. Aside from the fact that I am in a relationship, she’s just a friend, not my type, not her type. We basically only talk anime and video games anyway. But she’s fun.

My bf is getting super jealous of her. We’re long distance and his issue is that he has never heard of her up until a month ago and now we’re going out once a week at most.
Thing is we’ve only been dating for three months and a half. Aren’t adult friendships basically seeing each other once in two months and then promising to go out at some point but never actually do that until three months later ?
Moreover, most of my friends in my city left to start jobs and internships, so she’s basically the only person around…

I believe I have explained everything as I should and reassured him in the best way I can. I can’t NOT see a friend that I really like because of him.

Idk, does this sound normal to you guys ?
HootyTheNightOwl · 36-40
Am I the only one who has no time or patience to be dealing with insecurities???

If he can't accept that you can and will meet other "attractive" people in your life - then this guy is not a guy that you want to be with in the longer term.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
It is hard for some straight men to understand that a bi woman, or a lesbian woman, can have a relationship with another woman that is nonsexual and nonromantic.

That might be because many straight men cannot imagine [i]themselves[/i] in a close friendship with a woman and not have it turn sexual.

You will probably need to keep reassuring him and explaining this to him.

If you say you have "friendzoned" this friend of yours, that might help. That way, you'll be talking in "guy language" he might understand! 😆
Barefooter25 · 46-50, M
@DrWatson That is so true. My former girlfriend is a lesbian and she has a best friend and isn't attracted to her in any way. To this day, me and her are just really close friends.
GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M
If he’s this jealous over a casual friendship there is no way a relationship with him would work out.
BloodyArwin · 22-25, F
@GJOFJ3 We just grab boba and talk about anime 😂
And I did reassure him several times that neither of us is interested AT ALL
Teirdalin · 26-30
Time to dump the boyfriend for being a controlling jerk who is just going to get WAY worse over time? And it's best to jump ship before that happens.
That type of insecurity tells me he does not trust you to not cheat on him, which is one of the MOST insulting things I ever find in a relationship and I cannot stand that from people.

Don't listen to others saying to reassure him that it's not a problem, you can find someone whose not a PoS.
Barefooter25 · 46-50, M
Like the old saying goes..."Jealousy will get you nowhere." If all you do is talk about video games and anime, then there is nothing to be upset about. It seems your b/f has trust issues.
DunningKruger · 56-60, M
It sounds like a him problem and not a you problem. Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. Perhaps you should consider dumping him.
StevetheSleeve · 31-35, M
Maybe the issue isn’t so much your friend but the fact you’re bi. He clearly doesn’t want you acting on that while you’re with him.
ineedadrink · 51-55, M
It does sound like he's insecure and controlling those are not good character traits.
tk9999 · 41-45, M
Have you ever met him? Do you ever see each other or have realistic plans to see each other, or to end the distance?
It seems that you value in person connections more in real life. He may or may not, but I am going to assume toward the latter (he may not), as if he had friends of his own to hang out with, then I would assume that enough of his time would be directed toward them to where he wouldn’t be obsessing over who you are hanging out with when you’re not with him. It seems like he wants you literally all to himself, and I am assuming it’s a “I have no real in person connections so you shouldn’t either” type deal.
If this is what’s going on, then it’s a peek into what things would likely be like with him if you were to be together in person eventually.
If that’s not what you want, then my advice would be to seek an in person relationship with someone who matches you. Choose your partner very carefully and wisely.
BloodyArwin · 22-25, F
@tk9999 we do tho, we meet frequently enough…
I feel like it’s the bisexual thing that’s bothering him…
tk9999 · 41-45, M
@BloodyArwin It could be, but he needs to trust you then. If he can’t, then again is he really the best person for you? You probably need to have a serious head on discussion with him about this.
I dated a girl for 2 years who was also bisexual, while I am straight. She had many other guy and girl friends, but I never got jealous over that because I knew she was interested in me and not in them in that way. He needs to be able to take the same viewpoint.
BloodyArwin · 22-25, F
Best answer and advice 10/10 @Quimliqer

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