Am I the bad guy?

I friend zoned a guy because I didn’t see us being compatible in the long run. I agreed to stay friends . And then a few weeks later I start dating again and meet an amazing guy . The friend zoned guy keeps asking if I found someone yet and I say no because he was stressed out from losing a job . I finally tell him I’m dating someone and hes suddenly acting suicidal , he’s back on drugs , he lost his job , and hes gambled all his money away . I feel so guilty . But I don’t know how to fix it .

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reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

he has to settle his issues before he can have relationships and maybe he was not mature enough to be friends with someone he was just in love with. he was hoping the "be friends" time with give him time to plan a come-back on the romance. i've been there when I was that age, I'd get all insecure and do all these behaviors you mentioned , or similar. friendship in that state of mind is not very realistic. I have a friend that I really care for but she also is young and beautiful so I have to keep myself in check to not get too passionate, so what I do is I call her once a month, we hang out, then I call her a month later. perfect. if he could do that , then you two could be friends, but he's not there. be strait and direct with him : if he's gonna get all self-destructive because he can't handle being just friends then you will stop talking with him, its not fair to you to make you feel that pressure. making you feel responsible for his wellbeing is totally unfair to you, maybe reverse the table for him, ask him to imagine a girl who likes him romantically but he doesnt feel that way and then she get s all self-destructive and nuts, how would he feel?