Breaking up with violent bf

@HootyTheNightOwl your right. I found out she lives across the country. Should he still be held accountable as a cheater even tho he probably could never meet up with her cause she lives too far away. Their conversations have been flirtatious

@Fifidog You don't have to physically cheat on your partner in person - an emotional affair can be enough to devastate a 20, 30 or 40 year marriage.

Just because he hasn't met her in person, it doesn't mean that it's a "harmless bit of fun"

You also have to consider how this has affected you emotionally. Could you potentially live with an open marriage or would you prefer a monogamous marriage between yourself and your husband??? Some people can make an open marriage work... but most people find that they can be a nightmare - especially if you're already feeling insecure in your marriage as it is.

That can slip into an abusive relationship as you start to fight against each other with one person trying to stop the bothersome behaviour and the other person not wanting to give it up.

@HootyTheNightOwl it is emotionally affecting. I can’t pinpoint in what way but I do feel some type of way. What’s cheating on social media called? Emotional cheating? I think of it and I say if he really had cared about me and loved me he wouldn’t do stuff like that to hurt me emotionally. He knows what he’s doing is wrong and that’s why he’s trying to hide it.

@TallMtnMedic that’s a good plan but he would need to be leaving my house cause he’s always at my house. How would that work out? When he goes to work do I just not open the door? Do I tell him in person or over the phone?

@fanuc2013 Why do so many people suggest weapons, when they can be turned against you if the abuser gets hold of them???

Even a gun is only good as long as its not in the hands of an abuser.

@fanuc2013 And a few friends as well

@justanothername I would have to get him to walk out of my house cause he’s always at my house. How do I do that

@Fifidog Do you have any photos of the abuse that he's done to you? Or have you made any calls for the police during the span that you were together?

@DeluxedEdition no photos but I have a police call when he was angry and trying to break down my door but never physically hurt me

@Fifidog Nobody is sweet 24/7. But someone insulting you, intimidating you, yelling at you, or hitting you is unacceptable.

Always watch for the red flags in the beginning. If the relationship is moving too fast, if you notice him abusing substances (alcohol, drugs), if you notice he is hotheaded or quick to get angry, secretive etc

@DeluxedEdition That sounds true

@DeluxedEdition oh okay those are things I’ll look out for thanks

@bhatjc what will they ask me when getting an ro

@Fifidog If you feel threaten or abused

@ExperienceDLT I consider it that he cheated on me but I want your opinion if you consider this cheating. do you consider it cheating when you know what your doing is wrong cause your in a relationship asking this person on social media when they come to your state to visit sometime they wanna take you on a date cause they think your attractive then you do everything you can to hide it from your partner

@Fifidog yes that is cheating because he is lusting for another female when he is supposed to be commited to you

@Miklee02 Amen to that.

@SW-User that would be a good idea but in what way lol move far away? He has some stuff at my house

@NinaTina Agree with that as well