No Labels: Does it matter?

I've been talking to this incredible girl. She is just great and I would say I found the one. We talk everyday, we obviously like each other, we say I love you's and we normally do things like couples do. The only difference is that we're not in a relationship or we don't label it like we are dating.

But am I risking anything here? Do you think it's best that we'll stay like this? Or should I just ignore and play along?

This is pretty weird for me but I want her..I want her to be mine...

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

ServantOfTheGoddess · 61-69, M

If you want her like that, I think you had better actually talk about your expectations and what you both are looking for. That is risky because she might pull away but the risk of not getting clearer about things is that you may get your heart broken.

She might just see you as a good friend while you are falling in love with her. She might be polyamorous, and that might not work for you if you want her to yourself. On the other hand she may just be waiting for the chance to say: yes! I want to be yours!

Optima12 · F

@ServantOfTheGoddess Thanks! We've talked about that actually..She told me that she still scared to enter in a relationship and I told her I was ok to wait..Problem is that she gets more comfortable from our setup and I'm afraid that it might just stay like this. I don't even know when would be the right time to ask her when she's ready.

SomeMichGuy · M

@Optima12 Why should *she* determine *your* timeline?

You have legitimate concerns and--if these "I love you"-s mean ANYthing [though why you'd start that without any understanding whatsoever, or meeting in real life, is beyond me, and ill-advised if it's *real* for you], then it's completely reasonable to ask for clarification, if not commitment.

[But getting so far into a "relationship" which is only online seems ill-advised. You need to spend real time with real people to see if a potential relationship *is* real. You seem to be "all-in" without remembering that people can seem wonderful, etc., [u]online[/u], and be rather different [u]in person[/u]...]

You need to be an advocate for yourself in this. You can be gentle, non-threatening, yet still advocate firmly for yourself.