I spend on the women I date

I know there's a whole modern thing about going 50/50 and all that and I totally get it. But idk I guess I'm just used to taking the "provider" role if that makes sense. That's what I grew up seeing. Now I'm dating a woman who probably makes 2x what I do but I still cover all expenses for our dates, I really don't care. I only go on dates I can afford and so I pay for everything.

I guess what I'm concerned about the most is being taken for granted. I've never really known what to expect and some of my friends are of the opinion that I should make the women "earn" it. Not sure how to do that, and if they don't offer to pay but I still want to go out with them then I just pay myself. I really don't know what to expect/how to be treated in a relationship, I guess. What do you think I should look out for?

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Eternity · 26-30, M

Yeah you'll grow out of that. I was the same way but lots of women really will not even like you like that yet let you keep paying for dates. Not all but a lot feel entitled to a man's money as if spending time with them is something we should have to pay for.

You will become able to discern who is worth it and who isn't. Like carissimi said it really is down to a gut feeling. If there is any doubt then you shouldn't be paying. Go for a walk in the park or hangout in a book store. Run errands together. Lots of free shit to do for the first one or two dates.

And if she has a problem with low budget dates then she's not worth keeping around anyway 🤷🏽‍♂️. Let her go find a mine to dig in.

Carissimi · F

I think it’s admirable that you pay, but I would be careful to not be used. If you feel used, then you probably are being used. It’s hard to say because I’m not a guy, and I’m from a different generation when most guys paid for a date. Times have changed, and women earn as much, or more than men. You’ll have to use your intuition about a date.

somedude15 · 26-30, M

@Carissimi I guess intuition can only come with experience which I don't have enough of

Carissimi · F

Hmm, well do you ever get a sense that something is not right, or you feel uncomfortable about certain people, even if you can’t say what it is? Then that’s your intuition. Listen to it. It’s a small inner voice or feeling that most of us ignore, until it’s too late, and we look back, and say, “I sensed something wasn’t right,” or something similar. Basically, your gut feeling. @somedude15

Nelisme · 22-25, F

If you spend money on a girl, do it because you want to, and don’t expect anything in return. A girl won’t date you for a free meal, it’s to be with you. Is it worth it or not? You will never know where that road may lead if you don’t take the first step.

eyeno · M

I'm totally up front from day one, and tell the person this time I'll pay next time its your treat.

If they like my company and the feelings are mutual there will be other dates.

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

That's how you get used for meals.

If I get to know someone and they prove loyalty, only then will I spend a dime.

SW-User

Idk

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