Can someone please teach me how to stay single?!

I made a promise to myself that I would remain single for the rest of the year.

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Wear baggy, ugly, formless clothes. Do not go to public places: clubs, bars, restaurants, parties, social gatherings, what have you. Never comb your hair. Never use makeup of any sort. Wear clothes that have a hood and always have it pulled up. Wear a fake wedding ring and lie that you are indeed married. Wear a really large crucifix on s big chain around your neck, etc.